Some people believe that celebrities have a positive effect on society, while others think that their effect is harmful and negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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At present, whilst opponents hold the view that some influencers have detrimental effects on the community, proponents have a diverse perspective.

However

Linking Words

, I am a staunch believer that some entertainers positively affect the youth because their deeds are inspiring and appropriate. On the one hand, a category of individuals

believe

Change the verb form

believes

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that singers, actors, or football players have detrimental effects on the community, and they do not have a prominent role in society compared to other vocations.

In other words

Linking Words

, if teachers who educate a myriad of generations or doctors who put at least ten years of their lives

Change preposition

into

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hectic study and saving people's lives are followed and imitated by juveniles, they will help their society more than famous figures who

pread

Correct your spelling

spread

violence, erroneous thoughts and immoral

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

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For instance

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, the superstar Mohamed Ramadan" receives millions of pounds for presenting violent content that diffuses atrocities, promotes smoking, or even encourages drinking alcoholic beverages.

Thus

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, what can be said is that these enormous earnings received by errant entertainers provoke workers in other hard-working professions.

On the other hand

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, some celebrities are worthy of being praised because they have an indispensable role. To illustrate, when some glamorous characters generously contribute to philanthropic associations by making monetary donations towards health facilities and when they launch awareness campaigns, they constructively influence adolescents.

This

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can be exemplified by the Egyptian footballer "Mohamed Salah" who encouraged a plethora of young people to combat addiction

Change preposition

through

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the anti-drug campaign that he initiated.

Therefore

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, not only do these luminaries deserve massive funds, but they

also

Linking Words

should be honored

Change preposition

with

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appreciation awards as it becomes

lucid

Correct word choice

clear

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that some megastars can rebuild morals in the world. In conclusion,

after

Linking Words

this

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essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that some influencers inspire and admonish the youth and caution them against crooked practices. I am convinced that exemplary public figures who are of high repute are worthy of being well-paid.

Submitted by ask3baker on Wed Feb 14 2024

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task achievement

Clearly establish your stance on the issue at the beginning of your essay to ensure the reader is immediately aware of your viewpoint. This will also help in maintaining a focused argument throughout.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of linking devices to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. Phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'Conversely', and 'On the contrary' can enhance the flow of your argument.

task achievement

Strive for a balanced discussion by allocating similar lengths and depths of analysis to both views. Ensure that each viewpoint is given comprehensive consideration to demonstrate an unbiased evaluation before presenting your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Employ a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay. This not only engages the reader but also showcases your proficiency in English. Avoid repetitions of words and phrases when possible.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Some people believe that celebrities have a positive effect on society, while others think that their effect is harmful and negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support.

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Doctors recommend that older people should excersice regularly.However many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?