IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You are planning to travel and would like someone to take care of your apartment while you are away. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter •explain why you will be away •ask your friend to take care of your apartment •describe the tasks you want your friend to do

#travel #someone #care #apartment #friend #•explain #•ask #•describe #tasks
Dear Jasmine, I am writing to tell you that I am planning to fly to India on Diwali as it's been four years since I celebrated Diwali in
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
my hometown
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. Before I was sceptical about going to India but my parents really
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
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 to celebrate Diwali with me. As I will be away so I need someone to take care of my apartment from 1st November to 20th November.
Although
 I have other friends
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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I think you are the most responsible, closest and reliable
from
Change preposition
of
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 all of them. It would be great if you
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 help me to look after my place
while
 I am not here. Since you are
also
 occupied with your things, work and studies, I want to assure you that
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 is not a lot to do there. I will
handover
Correct your spelling
hand over
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 my keys to you before I leave. I would be happy if you
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 help me
giving
Change preposition
by giving
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 water to plants,
open
Replace the word
opening
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 windows for ventilation and
collect
Wrong verb form
collecting
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 my emails from the
mail box
Correct your spelling
mailbox
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. That's all
that is
 required to be done.
However
, you can contact me whenever you want. I will be grateful for your help. Regards Simran
Submitted by preetsimran0123 on

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Coherence
Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance the coherence of the letter.
Coherence
You might add a short closing sentence to summarize your request or express anticipation for a positive response.
Coherence
Be careful with word choice: consider changing 'I have other friends but' to 'While I have other friends, I feel that you're the most responsible...'.
Task Response
The letter format is appropriately friendly, maintaining a suitable tone for writing to a friend.
Task Response
You effectively included all relevant information: your reason for travel, request for help, and specified tasks for your friend.
Coherence
The letter has clear and logically ordered paragraphs, making it easy to follow.
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