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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fossil fuel almost finish from this world, so many countries try to find alternative resources. Can you describe the advantages and disadvantages of this energy?

Fossil fuel is almost finished in
this
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 world, so many
countries
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 are trying to find
alternative
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energy
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 resources. These new sources of
energy
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 offer many advantages, but they
also
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 come with certain disadvantages. One major benefit of
alternative
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energy
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 is that it is renewable and environmentally friendly. Unlike fossil fuels, which produce large amounts of pollution and contribute to global warming, sources like solar,
wind
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, and
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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 generate clean
energy
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.
This
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 helps to reduce carbon emissions and protect natural ecosystems.
Moreover
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, renewable
energy
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 can increase
energy
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 independence.
Countries
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 that rely on imported oil can
instead
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 use their own natural resources,
such
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 as sunlight or
wind
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, which supports national security and long-term sustainability.
However
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, there are
also
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 challenges related to
alternative
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energy
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.
First,
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the initial cost of building renewable
energy
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 systems is often very high. Solar panels,
wind
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 farms, and hydroelectric plants require significant investment, which can be difficult for poorer
countries
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.
Second,
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many renewable sources depend on weather conditions.
For example
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, solar
energy
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 is less effective on cloudy days, and
wind
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 power is unreliable in areas with low
wind
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 speeds. These factors can make the
energy
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 supply unstable without good storage systems.
Additionally
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, some
countries
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 may lack the technical expertise or infrastructure to adopt
alternative
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energy
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 on a large scale. In conclusion,
while
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 fossil fuels are running out and
alternative
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energy
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 is essential for the future, it is not without its drawbacks. Governments need to invest in green technology, improve
energy
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 storage, and support research to make renewable
energy
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 more efficient and accessible for all.

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task achievement
The essay clearly answers the question and discusses both advantages and disadvantages of alternative energy.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or data to support your points, which will enhance your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are organized well, and each paragraph has a clear point.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words to improve the flow between your ideas, such as 'however', 'moreover', and 'for example'.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You might want to expand on some disadvantages to give a fuller perspective on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You did well to mention both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative resources
  • fossil fuels
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • renewable
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • diverse energy options
  • job creation
  • intermittent supply
  • initial high cost
  • limited energy storage
  • geographical limitations
  • impact on wildlife
  • ecosystems
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