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Writing Samples
Band 8

IELTS Topics: Number 8. Some think that teenagers should follow older people’s rules. Others thinks that it is natural for them to challenge what older people say. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the
last
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 few decades, the world has been evolving rapidly and so have the perspectives about
life
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.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that young adults must adhere to the principles adopted by older
people
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, others are of the opinion that teenagers should find their own ways rather than following the rules of the previous
generation
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. In my opinion,
although
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 it is agreeable to consider the elderly's ethics of
life
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 who have vast
life
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 experiences, the current
generation
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 must cultivate their own path as it helps them to learn and develop a distinctive approach towards
life
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. It is ubiquitously argued in families that youngsters should align with the rules of older
people
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 because of their enriched
life
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 experience and learnings.
In addition
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, they advise their offspring not to fall into any of the traps which they have already gone through as it creates pain and sorrow for them because of their endearment towards children.
For instance
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, in certain parts of India, grandparents and parents advise children to buy houses at a young age since the former suffered many years of homelessness.
Therefore
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, listening to the older
generation
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 is beneficial for young boys and girls as they can avoid inadvertent mistakes.
On the contrary
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, it is quite natural for juveniles to decide against the traditional aspects of
life
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 as it yields unique lifelong experiences.
Furthermore
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, if a person explores the world and surroundings in the way he wants to, it will always stick to his memory and
consequently
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 benefit him in the long run.
For example
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, a recent survey conducted among teenagers in Australia reveals that 60 % of the country's young population loves to travel rather than get into a job which is entirely against the concept of the preceding
generation
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.
Thus
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, allowing young individuals to design
life
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 rules of their own is totally an explorative choice for those who like to do it.
To conclude
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, situations around us have been changing at a fast pace and the persuasions about
life
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 have
also
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 been abruptly broadened. Even though teenagers can conform to the instructions given by old
people
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, in my viewpoint they should show the courage to approach their
life
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 in their own way to experience uniqueness in
life
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.

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task achievement
Consider adding more diverse examples. Perhaps include examples from different cultural contexts or more varied scenarios to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although the coherence and cohesion are strong, ensure there is a consistent flow between the paragraphs. While the essay is mostly logically structured, sometimes the sentences could connect more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a very clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that are well aligned with the main points.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help illustrate your points effectively, adding depth to the discussion.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, thoroughly addressing both sides of the argument while providing your own opinion.
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