Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Nowadays, more and more
governments
spend
money
on the arts. A
numer
Correct your spelling
number
of people believe
this
is wasting
money
while
others believe
governments
should use
money
for other important public issues. In my opinion, I partially agree with
this
point. There are a number of strong
agruments
Correct your spelling
arguments
to support the idea that
governments
are wasting
money
on the arts. Citizens believe
governments
can use
money
to improve people's lives.
For instance
, local
governments
can invest to improve local public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
which can make people's lives easier.
In addition
,
governments
can use
money
for improving the environment,
such
as tree planting, managing rivers and so on.
Consequently
,
governments
should focus on other significant public issues.
On the other hand
, others believe
Submitted by hsmkashi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure you complete your essay including both an introduction and a conclusion. An uncompleted essay cannot score very high because it shows an incomplete argument or discussion.
task achievement
Provide clear, specific examples to support your main points. Use these examples to make your arguments more convincing and your essay more comprehensive.
coherence & cohesion
Work on creating clearer connections and transitions between your points. Use a variety of conjunctions and cohesive devices to help your essay flow more naturally and enhance logical structure.
coherence & cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This will help in clearly presenting your arguments and make your essay more coherent and easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: