Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

Nowadays there has been a heated debate about whether tickets for sports events are too expensive or not.
Therefore
in
this
essay, I will analyze both views on
this
topic. On one hand, without a doubt having the possibility to watch certain games is very expensive.
For example
, in the Estadio Santiago Bernabeu in Madrid is possible to pay more than 2000 euros per ticket to have access to lounge areas,
private
Correct word choice
and private
show examples
parking and watch the match as you were inside the football field
basically
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. So, in these cases, it is obvious that because of the services offered by the football club, the price of the entrance will be exorbitant.
Furthermore
, the fee is
also
determined by the frequency that the event takes place,
such
as the Olympics games which are once every four years.
As a result
, tickets for
such
events are considered a rarety,
hence
they are sold for a very large amount of money.
On the other hand
, usually in stadiums, there are some affordable choices.
For instance
, seats very far from the pitch or behind the goals are quite cheap compared to the luxurious alternatives previously mentioned.
Consequently
, it is possible to have access to the occasion, even if the budget is small.
In addition
, sports clubs offer discounts for families or disabled people,
as well as
subscriptions to tournaments, which are a way to see multiple matches for a lower price. In conclusion, I believe that sadly for sports passionates ticket fees are
overall
very expensive.
This
situation is damaging
fans
Change preposition
to fans
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
truly want to take part in those occasions,
therefore
I think that societies behind those events often forget that supporters should be the priority because without them there wouldn't be any business.
Submitted by alessandro.talese on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity and consistency in introducing the essay's main topic. Consider using more precise phrases, e.g., 'Recently, there's been debate regarding the high costs associated with attending major sporting events.'
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a smoother link between paragraphs, possibly by adding transition phrases or sentences.
task achievement
Good range of examples provided to support different sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion effectively introduce and summarize the main arguments.

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