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Band 6.5

Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

#nowdays #people #work #time #employers #life
One of the main controversial issues in today's life is the long working hours for employees which causes more stress and worsening conditions and depression among them. There are numerous reasons behind that
such
 as insufficient income and more workload
while
 some suggestions may help to increase the hourly rate of salary and use technology to reduce workload.
To begin
 with, in
this
 era, economic crisis is increasing day by day
thus
, workers do not have enough salary to fulfil their basic needs.
Therefore
, most of the workers tend to do overtime
work
however
 it is a primary reason for job dissatisfaction and a hectic lifestyle.
This
 leads to decreased productivity not only in personal life but
also
 Professionally.To minimise
this
 burden responsible authority could have increased the hourly payment rate and established enough basic salary scale.
Therefore
, workers will
work
 at their full capacity at appropriate times for
further
 development .
For instance
, many countries' employees' unions looking to cover
this
 issue and are able to establish good minimal wages.
Secondly
, most working people should have to complete multiple tasks in a limited time schedule.
This
 leads to high
work
 pressure among the people.To address
this
 concern companies are responsible for updating modern facilities and technology to ensure more productivity and reduce multiple targets among employees.In
this
 modern era, there are thousands of advanced software available with various performances ,
therefore
, authorities. should consider using those for simple task achievement and limit extra
work
 on people. In conclusion, there are more stressful working environment conditions in
this
 time period
due to
 insufficient wages and multiple tasks
although
 adequate wages and technology support reduce
further
 working pressure.
Submitted by ishanisachithra3 on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words appropriately to connect ideas, and paragraphs should be clearly separated and focused on a single main idea. Also, strive for a balance between complex and simple sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence.
Introduction and Conclusion
Refine your essay's introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your stance or what will be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate the thesis in a fresh way to leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global competition
  • economic pressure
  • advancements in technology
  • blurred lines
  • disconnect
  • cost of living
  • cultural emphasis
  • exacerbating
  • flexible working conditions
  • mitigate
  • burnout
  • wellness programs
  • mental health support
  • stress management
  • job satisfaction
  • workload
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