IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent times,there has been a contentious debate about whether adolescents should do volunteer work in their spare
time
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 for society. It is said by some individuals that adolescents should do volunteer services in their free
time
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 since it can provide several advantages for youngsters
as well as
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 the community.I completely agree with
this
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 notion because it not only enhances the skills of individuals but is
also
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 beneficial for workplaces.
To begin
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 with, when teenagers are introduced to various settings in which they assist others, it not only offers altruistic
but
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benefits but
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also
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 improves their skills.
For example
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,providing food to homeless people, teaching swimming to kids, teaching a particular language ,sewing clothes,cleaning public spaces , etc, it is estimated that these youngsters show more empathy than those who never participated.
Moreover
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, younger individuals cope with challenging situations better as compared to those who spend their spare
time
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 playing video games,which can lead to a sedentary lifestyle.
Furthermore
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, the young population can make better use of their idle
time
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 when they work in underpriviliged area where there is requirement of more under age staff
such
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 as ,old age home, special kids services, since youngerster are full of energy whether it is physically or mentally they devote
this
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 in the care of needy one ,
this
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 not only beneficial for society but
also
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 build sense of responsibility towards other.
Therefore
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,it is essential to devote spare hours to helping others rather than sitting for prolonged periods in front of the TV.
To conclude
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,an argument between the two parties about whether teenagers should be employed in their spare
time
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 volunteer organisation to assist people or not.I contend that working for free of cost for a charitable organisation enhances young people's skills and helps them to be productive than just spending spare
time
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 on mobile phones.

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structure
Plan before you write. Use one clear idea in each paragraph and link them with small phrases like first, also, and finally.
grammar
Use simple sentences. Try to keep to 1 main thought per sentence and avoid long, run-on lines.
spelling
Fix spelling and space after marks. Correct words like underprivileged, younger, and neighbour - use standard spellings.
task
Make the examples fit your point. After each example say how it shows the value of volunteering.
conclusion
Add a short end line that restates your view, to finish clearly.
stance
The writer takes a clear view and sticks to it.
content
Examples are used to support ideas.
tone
Effort to discuss both sides shows intent to persuade.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • community service
  • empathy
  • real-world issues
  • problem-solving skills
  • social skills
  • networks
  • constructive
  • detrimental activities
  • college applications
  • job resumes
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