some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea while others disagree strongly with. Consider both sides of this debates and present your own idea. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience

#people #gap #year #school #university #idea #debates

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In recent years, there have been some

people

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acknowledging that having a

gap

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year

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before entering university would bring positive experiences

such

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as travelling or working in the field where they want to pre-university

students

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while

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others believe that young

people

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should

study

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first right after a secondary school in a row without any extra free

year

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between graduating high schools and starting university

courses

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. With these, both views will be discussed below with my own opinion.

To begin

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with, some parts of society insist that

students

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should keep their

study

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course until when they finish their all

study

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courses

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This

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is because they believe

students

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should be equipped with their special professionality by studying their own majors as soon as possible in order to contribute their skills to the development of society. As a salient example, some imperative

courses

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require

students

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study

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longer and harder than others

such

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as medical sections, architecture, and law-related

courses

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Therefore

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this

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is reasonable for

people

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to see that

students

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should not have any

gap

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years to develop their own specialty in their majors.

However

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on the other hand

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, other individuals assert that a

gap

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year

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before starting their new

study

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courses

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would benefit youngsters to have more opportunities to develop their personal experience. To exemplify

this

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, young

students

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can explore what the international world consists of by travelling to more external places and learning about other cultures and languages which might be beyond their academic curriculums, or experience work where they are interested.

In addition

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this

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, it can be challenging to have a

gap

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year

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once they commence their university learning.

Hence

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this

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seems to have compelling rationales to raise their voice with

this

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opinion.

To conclude

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although

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some members of society argue that

students

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should

study

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in a row until they finish their studies once, other

people

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advocate that the

gap

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year

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would provide

students

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more advantages in travelling to other countries and working in the sectors they want to work in before starting their new

study

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, and I am personally convinced with

this

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viewpoint.

Submitted by yeseulyou92 on Wed Feb 14 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, try to elaborate more on your examples and how they specifically support your argument. This could involve detailing the skills and insights gained from a gap year that directly benefit university education or future careers, making your argument more persuasive.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, focus on making the transitions between paragraphs smoother by using more varied linking words and phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make your argumentation clearer to the reader. Additionally, ensure that the introduction and conclusion are succinct and directly relate to the essay question for a stronger overall structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gap year
life experience
independent
practical skills
reflect
educational and career goals
academic environment
adjust to
disinterested
counterproductive
internships
volunteering
enrich
perspective
resume
economic considerations
financial constraints
privilege
personal growth
acquiring new skills
sense of direction
immensely beneficial
well-planned
aligned
future goals

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some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea while others disagree strongly with. Consider both sides of this debates and present your own idea. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is the job of governments and companies to deal with the huge environmental problems which we face. Individuals on their own can do little or nothing’. What is your opinion about this statement?

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.