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Band 7

some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea while others disagree strongly with. Consider both sides of this debates and present your own idea. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience

#people #gap #year #school #university #idea #debates
In recent years, there have been some
people
 acknowledging that having a
gap
year
 before entering university would bring positive experiences
such
 as travelling or working in the field where they want to pre-university
students
,
while
 others believe that young
people
 should
study
 first right after a secondary school in a row without any extra free
year
 between graduating high schools and starting university
courses
. With these, both views will be discussed below with my own opinion.
To begin
 with, some parts of society insist that
students
 should keep their
study
 course until when they finish their all
study
courses
.
This
 is because they believe
students
 should be equipped with their special professionality by studying their own majors as soon as possible in order to contribute their skills to the development of society. As a salient example, some imperative
courses
 require
students
 to
study
 longer and harder than others
such
 as medical sections, architecture, and law-related
courses
.
Therefore
,
this
 is reasonable for
people
 to see that
students
 should not have any
gap
 years to develop their own specialty in their majors.
However
,
on the other hand
, other individuals assert that a
gap
year
 before starting their new
study
courses
 would benefit youngsters to have more opportunities to develop their personal experience. To exemplify
this
, young
students
 can explore what the international world consists of by travelling to more external places and learning about other cultures and languages which might be beyond their academic curriculums, or experience work where they are interested.
In addition
 to
this
, it can be challenging to have a
gap
year
 once they commence their university learning.
Hence
,
this
 seems to have compelling rationales to raise their voice with
this
 opinion.
To conclude
,
although
 some members of society argue that
students
 should
study
 in a row until they finish their studies once, other
people
 advocate that the
gap
year
 would provide
students
 more advantages in travelling to other countries and working in the sectors they want to work in before starting their new
study
, and I am personally convinced with
this
 viewpoint.
Submitted by yeseulyou92 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, try to elaborate more on your examples and how they specifically support your argument. This could involve detailing the skills and insights gained from a gap year that directly benefit university education or future careers, making your argument more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on making the transitions between paragraphs smoother by using more varied linking words and phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make your argumentation clearer to the reader. Additionally, ensure that the introduction and conclusion are succinct and directly relate to the essay question for a stronger overall structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • life experience
  • independent
  • practical skills
  • reflect
  • educational and career goals
  • academic environment
  • adjust to
  • disinterested
  • counterproductive
  • internships
  • volunteering
  • enrich
  • perspective
  • resume
  • economic considerations
  • financial constraints
  • privilege
  • personal growth
  • acquiring new skills
  • sense of direction
  • immensely beneficial
  • well-planned
  • aligned
  • future goals
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