Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Children’s upbringing is a crucial mission that should involve all of the facilities in every society. Some individuals believe in parental responsibility for
this
purpose, while
others emphasize on educational system more than blood relatives in this
way. As for my part, I agree with the latter argument and this
essay will elaborate on the stance taken to eventually present a conclusion accordingly
.
In one respect, some people think that parents
should create close-knit families with strong bonds together to nurture their offspring as well. For instance
, a recent survey conducted by the health ministry has shown that children in an appropriate family relationship may overcome their problems easily. Moreover
, some psychologists assume children follow parents’
Correct pronoun usage
their parents’
behavior
just as a mirror. Change the spelling
behaviour
Hence
, they have had more significant responsibilities of upbringing.
On the other hand
, others presume that although
family ties are unparalleled, almost all parents
are out of the modern world. Thus
, schools should handle this
generation gap. To cite an example, most parents
grew up in a traditional society without any digital devices and they have no idea about its pros and cons. Additionally
, due to
the inflamed economic situation, most fathers and mothers must work most of the time from morning to evening. Consequently
, they do not have enough fresh
time to teach or nurture their children.
Correct word choice
apply
To conclude
, given the view of the foregoing discussions and supportive facts, this
essay believes that due to
the less free time of parents
and low necessary knowledge about new worlds, teaching is an essential duty of schools and teachers as they are more familiar with technologies and offspring’s attitudes.Submitted by erfanamouie on
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task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion, integrating it seamlessly within the body or clearly in the conclusion.
coherence & cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to enhance the connectivity of ideas and paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to bolster arguments, ensuring they are directly relevant to the point being made.