IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and measures could be taken to solve it?

#homelessness #cities #world #measures
In our contemporary world extremely reduced
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
the statistic
show examples
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 of people without
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 showcased that 30% without
Add an article
a home
show examples
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
, year by year numbers
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increase. There
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 two main reasons, it is unemployment and heritage
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
. These days
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a number of people
Add a missing verb
are unemployment
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unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 and
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 do not pay abundance without
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
. If start from the beginning people who did not study it enough at school, in the future select low-paying
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result
Add a comma
result,
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 it leads
homelessness
Change preposition
to homelessness
show examples
. After
then
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 their children
lives
Change the verb form
live
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 without heritage.
Otherwise
, it is all connected.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, I consider that every parent should think about future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
, when one's upbringing a youth you ought to do everything for the sake of
this
 child.
Into a
Change preposition
A
show examples
 number of countries have
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
than
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 children born parents open bank
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the name child. Would be better if government
include
Wrong verb form
included
show examples
 in the family code a number of articles about opening a bank account for a child from birth.
Due to
 the
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 it makes their life easier and
secure
Correct quantifier usage
more secure
show examples
.
Secondly
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should strengthen edition in the every area and provide everyone with a good paying job after graduation.
Sum
Fix the infinitive
To sum
show examples
 up, the main thing for the solving problem
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is opening
bank
Correct article usage
a bank
show examples
 account in the name of
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 and strengthening education.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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coherence cohesion
Start by ensuring your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This structure helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
In the introduction, clearly state your thesis or main argument. This provides a roadmap for the rest of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations. This improves both coherence and the strength of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling, as errors can distract from your argument and disrupt the flow of your essay.
task achievement
To fully address the task, make sure your essay discusses both the causes of the problem and measures to solve it. Provide balanced coverage of each part.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your ideas. This adds credibility to your arguments and helps illustrate your points more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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