IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table gives information about 5 types of vehicles registered in Australia in 2010, 2012 and 2014.

The table gives information about 5 types of vehicles registered in Australia in 2010, 2012 and 2014.
The table depicts 5 different kinds of transportation registered in Australia in 3 different
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, passenger
vehicles
Use synonyms
 were the popular transportation
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light
trucks
Use synonyms
 had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 small number of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 registered
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 4
years
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, motorcycles had the highest percentage
change
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2014
while
Linking Words
 heavy
trucks
Use synonyms
 got the opposite. Looking in more detail, Started from 11.800.000 passenger
vehicles
Use synonyms
 were registered in 2010 and increased gradually
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 10,20%
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 13.000.000 passenger
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Next,
Linking Words
commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
 went up slightly by
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of 400.000 about a 17,4%
change
Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 4
years
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, motorcycles were the biggest
change
Use synonyms
 which experienced a significant growth at 30,80% from 540.000 to 709.000
vehicles
Use synonyms
 registered over 4
years
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, the second biggest
change
Use synonyms
 was light
trucks
Use synonyms
 which underwent a rapid jump of 23,5% from 2010 to 2014.
However
Linking Words
, there was a slow rise to a level of 8,3%
Use synonyms
vehicles
Change preposition
of vehicles
show examples
 registered in heavy
trucks
Use synonyms
 for 4
years
Use synonyms
 in Australia.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, vehicles, trucks, change with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: