Many Offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishments. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle these problems
Today
the
crime is increasing dramatically. Correct article usage
apply
Unfortunately
a number of individuals are Add a comma
Unfortunately,
occurring
Verb problem
committing
crime
after their punishment. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
This
is a serious problem
but steps can be taken to tackle the problem
.
In my opinion, there are some main reasons for this
problem
. Firstly
, today’
Change noun form
today’s
people
want to be successful with
easy ways. Change preposition
in
This
desire leads to
humans to commit Change preposition
apply
crime
. They know that it is just a dream, but, they do it several times. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
Secondly
, government
Add an article
the government
also
create possibility
for humans to do illegal activities. There are Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
not
severe punishments for crimes. Because of Correct your spelling
no
this
, people
do
not Verb problem
are
scare
of Replace the word
scared
to be
penalized. Change the verb form
being
Finally
, some of the criminals to be
forced to commit crimes. Because everything is not inexpensive and it is not easy to purchase some useful items. They might be foodstuffs, clothes, medicines or other valuable things.
Change the verb form
are
However
it is not Add a comma
However,
very
essential Correct article usage
a very
problem
. Because there are several solutions for
Change preposition
to
this
problem
. At first,
a group of well-known people
have to teach to
other Change preposition
apply
people
about how to achieve successful
life and help them to start Add an article
a successful
new
way of life. The other solutions are depending on Add an article
a new
government
. They must Add an article
the government
to
set clear rules and measures. Even put into practice Change the verb form
apply
death
sentence. Another duty of Correct article usage
a death
government
is thatCorrect article usage
the government
,
they should expand Remove the comma
apply
workplace
. They have to create factories which is Correct article usage
the workplace
eco- friendly
and supply Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
with
employment Change preposition
apply
all
Change preposition
for all
joblesses
.
In conclusion, if Correct your spelling
jobless
government
and celebrities help other Correct article usage
the government
people
to begin
bright
lifestyle, these problems be tackled.Correct article usage
a bright
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion. While your essay has these components, focus on making your introduction more engaging and your conclusion more decisive. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your main argument, and the conclusion should summarize your key points and restate your stance in a powerful way.
coherence cohesion
To bolster the support for your main points, include more specific and detailed examples. Draw from real-life scenarios, studies, or statistics that clearly illustrate the issues you're discussing. This will make your arguments more convincing and give your essay greater depth.
task achievement
For a higher task achievement score, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Make sure to clearly explain why offenders commit more crimes after serving punishments and offer detailed measures for tackling these issues. Expand on each idea with more precise arguments and examples.
task achievement
Incorporate clearer and more comprehensive ideas by developing each point more thoroughly. Rather than presenting many points briefly, concentrate on a few key ideas and explore them in depth. This will demonstrate a stronger understanding of the topic and make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Using relevant and specific examples is crucial for illustrating your points vividly. Try to incorporate examples that are directly related to the reasons offenders commit more crimes after serving punishments, and the specific measures that can be taken to prevent this. This will make your essay more persuasive and credible.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.