IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Maintaining public libraries is now a waste of money since computer technology is already replacing their function. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #waste #money #computer #technology #function
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It argues that operating a
community
library
 is
mispend
Correct your spelling
mispending
 finance since changing its ability to access
information
 on the Internet.
While
 I agree that many functions of online
libraries
 can be over
community
libraries
, I believe worth spending money on public
libraries
. To
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
libraries
 can provide a large number of
dvds
Correct your spelling
DVDs
 or paper books, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 just
has
Wrong verb form
have to
show examples
 limit each day's
searching
Replace the word
search
show examples
.
While
 online
library
 can perform limitless
information
 with many times speed to compare.
Secondly
,
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
 public can be accessed 24/7, compared with certain
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 of the day. There is less effort to research
information
 on the computer.
In addition
, the amount of money that need to pay for member's staff or up-to-date book resources.
In contrast
, much less cost to spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online
libraries
, and to update documents thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digital
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
.
However
,
community
libraries
 have many essential things that
impossible
Add a missing verb
are impossible
show examples
 to perform by technology.
Firstly
, it is a place that
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
Correct article usage
a quite
show examples
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 for people
enjoy
Fix the infinitive
to enjoy
show examples
 reading a book, so a recommendation for citizens who
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in a
noise
Replace the word
noisy
show examples
 urban that hard to find a
silent
Correct word choice
quiet
show examples
 area to concentrate.
Secondly
,
community
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 own precise
information
 resources. A great deal of
information
 we have today that possibly
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to misleading the public. In conclusion,
although
 computers have a number of advances to compare with public
libraries
,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the contrary spending for
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 necessary for
Correct your spelling
maintenance
Correct article usage
the maintance
show examples
maintance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
well-informed society, I believe it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 wrong to think keeping
open
Correct article usage
an open
show examples
library
 is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of money
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coherence cohesion
Work on the essay structure. An introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion should be distinctly identifiable with clear transitions.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'However', not only to connect sentences within paragraphs but also to link the paragraphs to each other.
task achievement
Address the task more directly by stating your opinion more clearly in the introduction and conclusion. Also, make sure that each body paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed and supported.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and to enhance readability. Simple and clear sentences are better than complex ones with mistakes.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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