IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her Suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

Dear Emily, I was really glad to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 your letter,and I'm very happy that you asked for my advice.You mentioned that you're not sure whether to go to college or to find a job,and I
pesonally
Correct your spelling
personally
 think that getting a job would be a better choice for you. First of all,I don't think you would enjoy college life very much.You told me before that you don't like studying for long hours or doing a lot of academic work,so it might make you feel stressed and bored.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,getting a job can give you more real experience .You can not only earn money,but
also
Linking Words
 learn new skills.Working will
also
Linking Words
 help you understand what kind of career you really want in the future. You are a friendly and outgoing person,so I think you can try jobs in customer service,sales,or tourism.These jobs are good for people who like to talk with others. I hope my advice can help you.I believe you will make a good choice. Best wishes, Jenny

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix spell and spaces: recieve -> receive; pesonally -> personally. Put a space after a comma and after a period.
structure
Put one idea in each paragraph and start a new paragraph for a new idea.
vocabulary
Use easy words and short lines so the reader can see the idea fast.
tone
Tone is warm and friendly.
content
You show clear why a job is good for them.
content
You give options of jobs to try.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • On-the-job training
  • Student loan debt
  • Personal growth
  • Professional networking
  • Career development
  • Skilled workers
  • Job market
  • Career goals
  • Immediate income
  • Professional relationships
  • Market demand
  • Defining interests
  • Educational investments
What to do next:
Look at other essays: