IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her Suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Dear Amy， Hope you're doing well. I 've
reveived
Correct your spelling
received
 your letter asking whether to go to college or to try to get a job, and
i'd
Fix capitalization
I'd
show examples
 recommend you start working straight away.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 don't think you would enjoy college life.You dislike
syuding
Correct your spelling
studying
 and boring theory lessons,
also
Linking Words
 college has lots of book learning and
exans
Correct your spelling
exams
. You will feel tired and lose interest quickly. Working has many good points. You can make money to live on your own without
parent's
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 help.
Also
Linking Words
,you can get useful working experience and learn how to talk with people, which you cannot learn
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 school. For
you
Correct determiner usage
your
show examples
 future jobs , customer service fits your outgoing
charactor
Correct your spelling
character
. Entry-level sales is another good choice because you are good at talking with different people, so
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think try to get a job and the two jobs
are
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 suit you well. Write to me soon. Yours sincerely, Nicole

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response: add a bit more on why work is better for Amy now.
task response
For task response: make your last part on job types more clear and give one more job idea.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: link ideas with easy words like also, so, and because.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: check each sentence, as some are too close and need a full stop or comma.
task response
For task response: you answer all parts of the task.
task response
For task response: your ideas fit Amy well and feel real.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: each part mostly stays on one main idea.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • On-the-job training
  • Student loan debt
  • Personal growth
  • Professional networking
  • Career development
  • Skilled workers
  • Job market
  • Career goals
  • Immediate income
  • Professional relationships
  • Market demand
  • Defining interests
  • Educational investments
What to do next:
Look at other essays: