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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #features #comparisons
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The line graph compares the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 in four Asian countries from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
allocated
Add a missing verb
was allocated
show examples
 to
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 in 1970 and the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
predicted
Add a missing verb
was predicted
show examples
 for
Malaysia
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
70 years later. All countries’
population
Use synonyms
 will be grown
according to
Linking Words
 the line graph. In 1970, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of each of the four countries was lower than 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
The Philippines
show examples
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 were almost 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the total
population
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 was lower than
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 with a slight margin. Thailand and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 saw remarkable growth during the 30 years after 1970 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 got Thailand’s
place
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Until 1990,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 was the first
place
Use synonyms
 among the others.
However
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 took first
place
Use synonyms
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 year.
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 will see a significant rise in 2040 to almost 85
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
. In 2010,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 saw a decline which led
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 to catch up and
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
place
Use synonyms
 till 2040.
Submitted by amirkasrajahanmiri on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, population, indonesia, malaysia, philippines, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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