it is important for people to take risks, both in their professionals lives and personal lives. do you think the advantagous of taking risk outweigh the disadvantagous.
In
this
modern era,the advancement in human life developed a lot but at the same time
the cost of living has Add a comma
time,
been
risen Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
inflation which encourages some people to take risks in their professional and personal lives.I will discuss the pros and cons of this
trend with credible examples in the upcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand,nowadays,the competition among humans climbed rapidly wheather
they are employed or running a business.Correct your spelling
whether
For example
, the increased number of trucks lowered the rate of loads in trucking
industry,Add an article
the trucking
thus
the company owners are now taking risks like hauling illegal loads,over-sized or over-weight products or some even become
Wrong verb form
becoming
a
drug Correct article usage
apply
dealer
to keep a business running Fix the agreement mistake
dealers
caused
the crime rate Wrong verb form
causing
grow
drastically.Add the particle
to grow
Furthermore
,Sometimes employer force
their employees to ignore Change the verb form
forces
the
Correct article usage
apply
safty
measures which is Correct your spelling
safety
also
a form of taking risk
aid to increase the possibility of accidents..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
For instance
,the report from a private insurance company named All State
shows that fifty-two Add a hyphen
All-State
percent
of accidents Change the spelling
per cent
happen
in Correct pronoun usage
that happen
workplace
caused Add an article
the workplace
due to
ignorance in
Change preposition
of
safty
measures.
Correct your spelling
safety
On the other hand
,the fight between large multinational companies produce
a desire among them to capture more and more customers.They are achieving Change the verb form
produces
this
goal by decreasing the selling price of their products which directly benefits to
consumers,Change preposition
apply
Also
They are also
forced to make better products to stay in business.Moreover
,The profession of traders is basically depends on the
Correct article usage
apply
risk
management,they will unable to make money without the proper use of risk
.
In conclusion,there are plethora
of benefits from taking Add an article
a plethora
risk
with Fix the agreement mistake
risks
a
proper management but still the disadvantages outcome advantages.Remove the article
apply
Lastly
,humans should avoid taking risks and follow a proper plan in their personal and professional lives.Submitted by sandhuprabh090 on
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the one before it.
linking
Use a wider range of linking words for coherence and to help guide the reader through your arguments. Examples include 'however', 'therefore', 'in contrast', and 'as a result'.
task response
Fully address the task by discussing both sides of the argument thoroughly and presenting a clear opinion in the conclusion. State whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not.
examples
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. While you have provided examples, aim for more detailed and especially more directly relevant ones to strengthen your argument.
language
Work on the clarity and precision of your language. Avoid long, complex sentences where shorter, clearer sentences would suffice. This will improve readability and coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.