Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it is negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opini

An increasing number of
technology
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technologies
show examples
have led to
assumption
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the assumption
show examples
of scientists that
computers
will
smarter
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be smarter
show examples
rather than mankind, which
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to pros and cons in society either positive or negative development. In my opinion,
this
is a negative development that can lead
people
becoming
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to become
show examples
laziness
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lazy
show examples
. On the one hand, one obviously evident benefit that can arise from
technology
device
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devices
show examples
is that it leads to easiness and convenience. Before
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
,
people
frequently analysed many data using traditional methods of formulas and
also
people
was
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were
show examples
looking for books in
library
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the library
show examples
to find resources,
whereas
now
people
can use
computer
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computers
show examples
to tackle
the
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their
show examples
job
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jobs
show examples
and
task
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tasks
show examples
.
As a result
,
people
have no way to spend the majority of their time again
inputing
Correct your spelling
inputting
analysed data and looking for information.
On the other hand
,
technology
has become more popular than before which currently has
acchieved
Correct your spelling
achieved
an accomplishment of Artificial
Intelegent
Correct your spelling
Intelligent
(AI).
This
kind of
technology
is believed by some can be risky for human beings.
In other words
,
people
are starting to rely on
this
term and can lead to
lack
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a lack
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of
brain's
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brain
show examples
excercise
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exercise
.
This
situation is particularly concerning for
childrens
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children
show examples
and teenagers who are in
stage
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the stage
a stage
show examples
of developing brain
ability
.
That is
to say, AI can diminish
critical
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the critical
show examples
thinking of human because too much
rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
show examples
on
technology
to solve their problems;
therefore
, they have no chance to use their own natural
ability
. From my perspective,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
ought to develop
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every moment, the
ability
and capability of young
people
also
must be
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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dominant attention
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
.
The
Correct article usage
Technology
show examples
technology
have to
Verb problem
is
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
for youngsters
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it cannot diminish their
ability
when they use it. In conclusion,
although
computers
have become more popular for
people
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
the world, it
also
has brought too many issues for
this
to be considered full as a positive trend.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Use a diverse range of sentence structures and punctuation to increase readability and better express complex ideas. Aim to vary your sentence beginnings and lengths.
coherence cohesion
In the body of your essay, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Begin with a topic sentence that states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that provide explanations, examples, or evidence.
task achievement
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task achievement
Conclude your essay by summarizing your discussion and reiterating your opinion clearly. This reinforces your arguments and leaves a strong final impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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