Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it is negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opini

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An increasing number of
Use synonyms
technology
Fix the agreement mistake
technologies
show examples
have led to
assumption
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the assumption
show examples
of scientists that
computers
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will
smarter
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be smarter
show examples
rather than mankind, which
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to pros and cons in society either positive or negative development. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
is a negative development that can lead
people
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becoming
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to become
show examples
laziness
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lazy
show examples
. On the one hand, one obviously evident benefit that can arise from
technology
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device
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devices
show examples
is that it leads to easiness and convenience. Before
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
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,
people
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frequently analysed many data using traditional methods of formulas and
also
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people
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was
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were
show examples
looking for books in
library
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the library
show examples
to find resources,
whereas
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now
people
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can use
computer
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computers
show examples
to tackle
the
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their
show examples
job
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jobs
show examples
and
task
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tasks
show examples
.
As a result
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,
people
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have no way to spend the majority of their time again
inputing
Correct your spelling
inputting
analysed data and looking for information.
On the other hand
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,
technology
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has become more popular than before which currently has
acchieved
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achieved
an accomplishment of Artificial
Intelegent
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Intelligent
(AI).
This
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kind of
technology
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is believed by some can be risky for human beings.
In other words
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,
people
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are starting to rely on
this
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term and can lead to
lack
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a lack
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of
brain's
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brain
show examples
excercise
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exercise
.
This
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situation is particularly concerning for
childrens
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children
show examples
and teenagers who are in
stage
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the stage
a stage
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of developing brain
ability
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.
That is
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to say, AI can diminish
critical
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the critical
show examples
thinking of human because too much
rely
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relies
show examples
on
technology
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to solve their problems;
therefore
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, they have no chance to use their own natural
ability
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. From my perspective,
while
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the
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apply
show examples
computers
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ought to develop
in
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apply
show examples
every moment, the
ability
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and capability of young
people
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also
Linking Words
must be
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
dominant attention
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
.
The
Correct article usage
Technology
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
have to
Verb problem
is
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
for youngsters
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it cannot diminish their
ability
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when they use it. In conclusion,
although
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computers
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have become more popular for
people
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through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
the world, it
also
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has brought too many issues for
this
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to be considered full as a positive trend.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
Provide a clear introduction that directly addresses the essay topic and briefly outlines your argument before diving into the body paragraphs. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a diverse range of sentence structures and punctuation to increase readability and better express complex ideas. Aim to vary your sentence beginnings and lengths.
coherence cohesion
In the body of your essay, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Begin with a topic sentence that states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that provide explanations, examples, or evidence.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples to support your arguments. Examples provide clarity and strengthen your points. These can be hypothetical, from your experience, or well-known case studies.
task achievement
Conclude your essay by summarizing your discussion and reiterating your opinion clearly. This reinforces your arguments and leaves a strong final impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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