Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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Working overtime is becoming more popular in the modern world, especially among the young generation

due to

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many causes which prevent them from having much spare time. There might be many favourable features for

this

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matter.

However

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, an array of disadvantages may be mentioned and both will be discussed in

this

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essay.

To begin

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with, working has a substantial role in developing

people

Use synonyms

’s personalities. The more individuals work, the more confident they may become as their working and social skills flourish.

For instance

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, those with more working hours in a company develop independent and strong characters by gaining more experience which positively influences their self-confidence and

also

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brings them higher job opportunities.

Moreover

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people

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might have a better feeling about making the best use of their time by not wasting it with hobbies.

This

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tends to have a positive effect on their self-assurance.

Nonetheless

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, there are some negative points that can be said about long working times.

Firstly

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people

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may be exhausted after long periods of working.

This

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situation negatively affects their mental status. Based on the result of some medical research into mental health, the depression rate is higher among workaholics rather than among those with less working time.

In addition

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people

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can be exhausted after long periods of working which brings about many errors in doing their jobs.

For example

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, provided that medical doctors had long shifts constantly, they would misdiagnose diseases

due to

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fatigue.

Thus

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, it said that having pastime is a must-have to rest the mind which results in decreasing the inaccuracy.

To conclude

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, it seems that the disadvantages of working extra hours outweigh the advantages.

Although

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working long hours brings many positive points for

people

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such

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as improved character and skills, there may be dreadful negative considerations for them

such

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as mental disorders and health risks.

TUTOOThu Feb 15 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure to expand on examples provided to substantiate arguments more effectively. While you have included examples, further detailing will enrich the essay and bolster your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help to seamlessly connect ideas and paragraphs, creating a smoother reading experience.

General

For overall improvement, consider revising for conciseness. Removing unnecessary words or phrases can make your essay more impactful and easier to follow.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
mental well-being
burnout
stress relief
productivity
economic growth
career progression
skill enhancement
quality time
financial security
leisure activities
physical health
personal relationships
stress-related illnesses

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Somepeople are ofthe opinion that ther should be a car free day once every month,there will be only public transport for that day .What are the advantages and disadvantages discuss both

In some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good fr a country while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn.

Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion