Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Working overtime is becoming more popular in the modern world, especially among the young generation
due to
many causes which prevent them from having much spare time. There might be many favourable features for Linking Words
this
matter. Linking Words
However
, an array of disadvantages may be mentioned and both will be discussed in Linking Words
this
essay.
Linking Words
To begin
with, working has a substantial role in developing Linking Words
people
’s personalities. The more individuals work, the more confident they may become as their working and social skills flourish. Use synonyms
For instance
, those with more working hours in a company develop independent and strong characters by gaining more experience which positively influences their self-confidence and Linking Words
also
brings them higher job opportunities. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
people
might have a better feeling about making the best use of their time by not wasting it with hobbies. Use synonyms
This
tends to have a positive effect on their self-assurance.
Linking Words
Nonetheless
, there are some negative points that can be said about long working times. Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
people
may be exhausted after long periods of working. Use synonyms
This
situation negatively affects their mental status. Based on the result of some medical research into mental health, the depression rate is higher among workaholics rather than among those with less working time. Linking Words
In addition
, Linking Words
people
can be exhausted after long periods of working which brings about many errors in doing their jobs. Use synonyms
For example
, provided that medical doctors had long shifts constantly, they would misdiagnose diseases Linking Words
due to
fatigue. Linking Words
Thus
, it said that having pastime is a must-have to rest the mind which results in decreasing the inaccuracy.
Linking Words
To conclude
, it seems that the disadvantages of working extra hours outweigh the advantages. Linking Words
Although
working long hours brings many positive points for Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
such
as improved character and skills, there may be dreadful negative considerations for them Linking Words
such
as mental disorders and health risks.Linking Words
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Task Achievement
Ensure to expand on examples provided to substantiate arguments more effectively. While you have included examples, further detailing will enrich the essay and bolster your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
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General
For overall improvement, consider revising for conciseness. Removing unnecessary words or phrases can make your essay more impactful and easier to follow.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...