IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many countries offer a free health care system to their citizens rather than relying on private health care. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a free system, and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #offer #health #care #system #citizens
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many countries,
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is provided by the government through national
healthcare
Use synonyms
 systems,
while
Linking Words
 some countries tend to offer private
healthcare
Use synonyms
 to their residents. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the main benefits of a free
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 and the problems it may cause for the population. In my point of view, the advantages and drawbacks of public
healthcare
Use synonyms
 vary depending on the types of medical
services
Use synonyms
 and segment of the population. The main advantage of a free
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is that medical care for citizens of a particular
country
Use synonyms
 or region can be received free of any charge or at a very minimal cost.
This
Linking Words
 is surely beneficial for the low-income segment of the population, as poor families cannot always afford the high prices of private medical institutions. Another benefit of government-based
healthcare
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 is the high quality of sterilization processes of medical instruments. It is widely known that the government supplies hospitals and polyclinics with centralized sterilizing machinery and controls that the equipment is sterilized
according to
Linking Words
 the highest standards,
while
Linking Words
 not all private medical institutions strictly follow the rules and procedures of sterilizing. Talking about dental
services
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
, I prefer to approach public dental clinics, rather than private ones, because I am more likely to trust the governmental
system
Use synonyms
 of sterilization.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a free
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 provides citizens with increased access to health
services
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, even in the most remote areas of the
country
Use synonyms
, these
services
Use synonyms
 are available for almost all residents of the
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the availability of free medical
services
Use synonyms
 presumes that more and more people are likely to approach public medical institutions to receive the treatment they need.
Consequently
Linking Words
, one obvious negative effect of free medical
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is long queues and wait times, which patients may find inconvenient when trying to receive a consultant-led treatment from a particular doctor.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 process can become even more complicated in countries offering free medical aid to their residents. Take my
country
Use synonyms
 Uzbekistan as an example where visiting a cardiologist or concentrated specialist, requires patients to get a referral from their therapist in the first place.
As a consequence
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 long waiting queues usually occur and create the above-mentioned challenges for the patients seeking medical assistance.
Overall
Linking Words
, the benefits of the availability of a free
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 outweigh the drawbacks, as they are affordable for low-income populations, provide easy access to
healthcare
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 and are more reliable in terms of the medical instruments sterilization process.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your opinion and what you will discuss. This helps with the clarity and direction of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing more varied transitional phrases to ensure smoother flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance your score in coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your advantages and disadvantages - personal or hypothetical scenarios work well. This strengthens your task achievement score.
task achievement
Ensure clarity when presenting your opinion. While you've noted that advantages and drawbacks vary, make it clear which side you lean towards more convincingly, supported by your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to paragraphing; ideally, each main body paragraph should focus on one main idea. This will enhance the logical structure and make your essay easier to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: