IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People attend colleges universities for many different reasons (for example: new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? You should give reasons for answer using your own ideas and experience.

#people #colleges #universities #experiences #career #preparation
A college
education
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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highly revered benchmark around the world. In many countries, without a college-level degree, a citizen is not considered for state jobs.
People
 attend
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
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 for many reasons but
career
 preparation is the
important
Correct quantifier usage
most important
show examples
 goal among them. Most students enroll in
colleges
bright
Change preposition
with bright
show examples
career
 prospects and they study professional and job-oriented
courses
. If achieved with threshold scores, these
courses
 increase the industrial employability of learners by training
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
show examples
 the skills industries need.
For example
, many companies organize direct campus programs in
colleges
, offering professional
courses
, to hire ready-to-utilize resources with rewarding packages. To add to
this
, in many cases, based on
education
, employees get remuneration for the exact same job, and college
education
 degrees play pivotal roles in accelerating promotion processes too.
On the other hand
,
in addition
scintillating
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to scintillating
show examples
 future
career
 opportunities, university
education
also
 offers many new experiences. These experiences migration to new countries, befriending new
people
, working
while
 studying, and, most importantly, learning to adjust
with
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to
show examples
people
. If we take
look
Correct article usage
a look
show examples
 at foreign students’ data across Europe, it is
eminent
Correct your spelling
evident
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 that around 20 % of students in Universities are
Asian
Change preposition
from Asian
show examples
 countries. These experiences burgeon adaptability skills to pursuers and help
turning
Wrong verb form
turn
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 future paradigm citizens. Some
people
also
 attend university
courses
 to enhance
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
show examples
. Students
under
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in
show examples
this
 section mostly pursue challenging and doctorate degrees in their fields. Most of these learners turn
Change preposition
into researchers
show examples
researchers
Change preposition
into researchers
show examples
 and help
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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the world. Some governments offer enticing whooping packages to the best minds
convince
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to convince
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 the latter to select
this
 study stream.
Finally
, considering all
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
attend
Fix the infinitive
to attend
show examples
colleges
 or universities,
it is clear that
 the paramount reason is
career
 growth.
However
, new
experiences’
Correct your spelling
experiences
show examples
 and ‘enhancing knowledge’ are
also
 prodigious reasons.
Submitted by hoaan2409 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
1. Work on structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a singular main point. This includes having a distinct introduction and conclusion. 2. Use examples effectively to support your points, but ensure they are directly related to the question asked. 3. Aim for clarity and brevity in your sentences to improve readability and coherence.
Task Response
1. Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring your response directly responds to the question's prompt. 2. Develop your ideas comprehensively, explaining and illustrating them further with examples or personal experiences. 3. Remain focused on the question's topic without deviating to less relevant areas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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