IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Children are less likely to read books today. Give the reasons and solutions to this trend.

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The importance of reading among
children
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 has been widely understood for a long time.
However
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, many parents find it challenging to encourage their reading habits
due to
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 the growing effect of technological gadgets on their
life
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lives
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. It seems necessary to raise their
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interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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toward
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in
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books
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 by
increaing
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increasing
chances
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the chances
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 to visit libraries. One of the primary causes
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of
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to
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of
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decling
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declining
decline
number
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 of young readers is their growing dependence
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on
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of
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on
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 advanced tools in modern society.
In other words
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,
children
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 are provided with a
number
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 of exciting
service
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services
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such
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 as games and music
by
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on
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 their own smartphones.
This
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 results in raising their satisfaction and spending prolonged hours watching
You Tube
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YouTube
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 and Instragrams.
Therefore
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,
pupiles
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pupils
 are less reluctant to visit libraries where they are only accessible to reading materials in
the
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apply
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quiet places. With the lack of
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interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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 and motivation to
aquire
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acquire
 various knowledge and skills, it would be more demanding for parents and teachers to draw their attention to
books
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. In order to increase reading habits among
children
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, adults should take them to libraries on a regular basis. Frequent visits to the library make them feel more comfortable
to stay
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apply
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as they get familiar with a
number
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 of
books
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 and people there.
This
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 will be
suprised
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surprised
 by the extensive range of topics they have including history, science and even cooking with more detailed analysis and explanation than online information.
As a result
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, it grows their curiosity and
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interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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 toward various facts in life. As adults spend more time in the library with their
children
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, they are more likely to be independent learners by the escalation of their eagerness to seek
for
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apply
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answers to a certain topic. In conclusion, it has been a serious concern among many parents and teachers that the
number
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 of
children
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 with reading habits decline rapidly. The rising dependence on
the
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apply
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modern gadgets has become a huge hurdle in drawing their attention
on
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to
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 paper
books
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.
Children
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 should be encouraged to visit
library
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the library
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 to promote their
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interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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for
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in
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 reading.
This
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 will have
positive
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a positive
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 effect on their academic performance in the long run.

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Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay provides a strong introduction and conclusion, integrating a clearer thematic link between paragraphs could enhance the logical flow. Consider using more explicit connection words or phrases to lead the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively meets the task requirements by addressing the reasons for reduced reading among children and proposing solutions. To further improve, ensure each paragraph distinctly supports your argument with specific examples or evidence, enhancing clarity and persuasiveness.
Language
Introduce a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to add variety and sophistication to your writing. This can also help in making your arguments stronger and more compelling.
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