Some people think that spending large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities is a waste of money. They think that this money should be used to improve existing public transport. To what extent do you agree / disagree ?
Public concern regarding the construction of high-speed trains to connect towns is increasingly topical since some individuals argue that
this
project
needs huge investments. In addition
, this
money should be allocated to enhance public transportation. To respond to this
aforementioned issue, I will put my arguments below and believe that this
mode of transportation has several positive developments due to
improving economic conditions and decreasing the density of the capital city’s population.
Firstly
, operating fast trains to connect areas will develop economic conditions in the countries. The reason is that this
project
will attract some users staying in the suburbs to utilize this
mode for commuting from their hometown to their business institution’s location. Therefore
, it will raise more income from potential customers who transport for working on a daily basis. Taking Indonesia as one example, its Ministry of Transportation constructed Whoosh as a high-speed train which can carry almost 500 passengers. They can afford 15% more expensive than the
ordinary trains because of their effectiveness and efficiency. After operating for five months, the government has experienced a dramatic increase in revenue in Correct article usage
apply
this
project
field at 23%.
Secondly
, new railway lines help the government to reduce the overpopulated condition in capital cities. This
is because workers can move from their residences fast without wasting their time. Thus
, they do not need to pay extra money for renting boarding houses or apartments.
To sum up
, the construction of this
project
has beneficial impacts on our countries, especially for rising income and decreasing crowded population in some cities.Submitted by akunyesikafikan1814 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while you have presented an introduction and conclusion, the development of ideas within paragraphs and the overall essay structure could be improved for better clarity. Consider using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph, followed by explanations and examples to support the main points. Transition phrases should be used effectively between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly through your arguments.
Task Achievement
For the task response criterion, you should aim to fully address all parts of the prompt. Your essay touches on whether money should be spent on high-speed trains or improving existing public transport, but your arguments need to be more balanced to cover both views. You should also develop your arguments more fully by exploring both sides of the issue and offering a more nuanced personal response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
