At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young aults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Second and
third word
countries experience Correct your spelling
third-world
the
increase Correct article usage
an
of
the younger population at Change preposition
in
unprecedented
pace. The Add an article
an unprecedented
number
of yound
adults in these countries grows at a higher Correct your spelling
young
number
than the older generations
. Although
this
phenomenon could present several drawbacks, I believe that the advantages are far more relevant than the disadvantages and I am going to explain it in this
essay.
Younger generations
provide several strenghts
to the Correct your spelling
strengths
country
they inhabit. Young people
is
an important resource and their Correct subject-verb agreement
are
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
cover
important job roles that require physical endurance, Correct subject-verb agreement
covers
such
as the manufacturing, mining or agricoltural
sectors, which cannot be performed by the older Correct your spelling
agricultural
agriculture
generations
. Additionally
, the younger generations
increase the national birth rate which also
increases Correct article usage
the country
country
population and, in the long term, creates more Change noun form
country's
work force
. Younger Correct your spelling
workforce
people
are healthier which also
lowers the walfare
burden in countries that provide national Correct your spelling
welfare
walfare
. All these factors that contribute to the national wealth are not applicable to the elders.
The older Correct your spelling
welfare
generations
provide an invaluable resource through their professional expertise; older people
cover important roles in job positions and provide supervision and support the
younger colleagues. Change preposition
to the
However
, they do not help the country
's development. Several elder people
require additional health
support and the expenses to deal with their health
issues, such
as chronic deseases
or mental Correct your spelling
diseases
health
, is
often significant for the national Correct subject-verb agreement
are
health
system. Older people
who are also
unable to work
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
a
monetary support from the Remove the article
apply
country
wich
is an additional burden to the economy.
Correct your spelling
which
To conclude
, I believe that the highest number
Change preposition
of youger
youger
Correct your spelling
younger
people
in a
society has several Correct article usage
apply
strenghts
when compared to Correct your spelling
strengths
the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
. Having a higher number
of younger adults supports the country
's economy through fundamental
Correct article usage
a fundamental
work force
, Correct your spelling
workforce
such
as the one employed in the primary and secondary sectors, and gives birth to newborns.Submitted by g.marta2013 on
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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure that your essay directly addresses the topic and all aspects of the task. While you discussed the advantages and disadvantages of a youthful population, consider adding more specific examples and statistics to support your ideas, enhancing the overall persuasiveness and completeness of your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, strive for a clear and logical organization of ideas throughout your essay. You've done well in structuring your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance this further, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to seamlessly connect ideas within and between paragraphs, making your argument more cohesive.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...