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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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the bar chart illustrates
Correct article usage
the finding's
show examples
finding's
Change noun form
findings
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 research on
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
Use synonyms
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 and tea purchasing and
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
habits
 in five
australian
Change the capitalization
Australian
show examples
 cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, other than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Adelaide almost all other 4 places people went for a
Use synonyms
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tea in a cafe more than purchasing them , and within the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks ,
Add an article
a citizen
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 of all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5 towns purchased instant
Use synonyms
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 more than fresh
Use synonyms
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
. In detail, Adelaide is the
metrapoliton
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
 area
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where
Correct article usage
the
show examples
least number of people
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
went for a
coffeshop
Correct your spelling
coffeeshop
coffee shop
 during
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 4 weeks and
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 slightly less than 50%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the city population.
However
Linking Words
, in Melboune nearly 63% urban population went
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a cafe during the same period recording the highest
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 all 5 cities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in Adelaide and Brisbane same number of individuals have purchased fresh coffee during the research period, recording a level of slightly less than 34% from the city crowd , and it is the least amount among all the fresh and instant coffee buyers in
survayed
Correct your spelling
surveyed
 cities.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the contray
show examples
contray
Correct your spelling
contrary
, Hobart is the town where people brought
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 , nearly 54% instant coffee
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 all the urban areas.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffe with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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