A museum near your home is looking for people to do part time voluntary/ unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary / unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter Explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful. Give details of when you would be available for work.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
letter regarding
job
Correct article usage
the job
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opening for voluntary work
has been
Wrong verb form
that was
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published in
Correct article usage
the daily
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daily tribune
Correct your spelling
Daily Tribune
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on 13th September 2023. I am very much interested in
this
opening. It will provide me an
oppurnity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to learn more about
roman
Capitalize word
Roman
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culture and history. I am doing my graduation in arts and history and aspire to become
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
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curator in future.
This
oppurnity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
will help me out in attaining my career goal. I already have
done
Unnecessary verb
apply
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certification in museum administration and management
along with
my graduation course.
Along with
that
Add a comma
that,
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I do have
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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knowledge of
roman
Capitalize word
Roman
show examples
culture and heritage which will help me in my voluntary work.
Furthermore
, I am available to work on
weekday
Fix the agreement mistake
weekdays
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from Monday to Friday between 11 am to 6 pm. On
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
I have seminars to attend as a part of my curriculum. I Look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Jim Marsh
Submitted by yash334 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. The third paragraph does well in blending your qualifications and availability, but consider separating these ideas for clearer emphasis and structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
To fortify your letter's structure and readability, introduce transitions between paragraphs. Phrases such as 'Additionally' or 'Moreover' can enhance the flow of your arguments and guide the reader through your intentions and qualifications smoothly.
Task Achievement
Your engagement with the task is commendable as you've effectively outlined your interest, qualifications, and availability. To enhance the task achievement, consider specifying how your specific skills could contribute to the museum's operations or visitor experience. Providing examples or brief scenarios could enrich your application.
Task Achievement
Maintain the formal tone throughout your letter, as you've adeptly done, but be careful with spelling and grammar to ensure professionalism. For example, 'oppurnity' should be corrected to 'opportunity'. Such lapses can detract from the otherwise strong impression of your letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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