Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Advertising has a strong effect on the community in buying goods. Few public believe that advertising makes the public invest their money in some unnecessary thing,
while
most crowds say it helps to understand and know about recent things that come into the market. In my opinion, announcements have more negative effects than positive ones on mankind.
In some advertisements, To improve sales, the content may influence a few populations to do some unimaginable things which may hurt or even kill the people who try to attempt those skills that were shown. Linking Words
For example
, Recently I saw the news, about a kid who died trying to recreate the content that was presented in an advertisement thinking that he could fly after using their product, parents should not encourage their kids to buy something that was watched on television or in magazine.
Linking Words
Moreover
, the advertisers are trying to influence the public, making them grab some items they can not afford. To increase sales, advertisers are coming up with newer strategies by making influential crowds their brand ambassadors. Linking Words
For example
, Nike a very popular sports brand made a lot of contracts with the world's greatest athletes, making advertisements for the goods launched after them, and Linking Words
thus
creating a huge impact on fans to buy those products even if they can not afford them.
In conclusion, society should be wise enough not to be influenced by some commercials. In my view, the government should not allow certain types of advertising which may harm the community. It is advised to understand the new technology or technology that comes into the market, but not to spend hundreds of dollars on some useless items.Linking Words
Submitted by varmaib1 on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on developing clear and logical argument progression. Your essay sometimes jumps between ideas rather abruptly. Consider using more linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful. Clearly state your stance in the introduction and succinctly summarize your key points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
While you provided relevant examples, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea helps clarity and impact. Try to elaborate more on each point with additional examples or explanations.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but your argument could be stronger with a more balanced discussion. Consider acknowledging the opposing viewpoint before explaining why you disagree with it, to demonstrate comprehensive understanding and engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Be sure to directly answer the question posed in the prompt in your introduction and reiterate your stance in the conclusion for a stronger task achievement score.
task achievement
For a more compelling argument, consider using a wider variety of specific examples. While personal examples are good, incorporating known facts, statistics, or broader societal observations can enrich your essay and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.