Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#violence #television #impact #children’s #behaviour

Nowadays, media have strong effects on

kids

. In today’s climate, the impact of

television

violence

children

’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

has become a controversial minefield. It is a widely held view that watching programs that contain

violence

can have a significantly bad effect on

children

, a theory which I fully subscribe to. The main justification why watching

violence

television

is not fruitful for

kids

is that it can lead to normalization. The more bad behaviours they see, the more they believe that it's a normal action and all people do it.

For example

, currently, there are numerous

Change preposition

apply

show examples

news about Russia and Ukraine’s war on TV.

This

kind of news can be watched by

kids

and

due to

the fact that they do not focus on the context of news and they just see the images, it can lead to a wrong belief which

kids

say

its

Correct your spelling

show examples

a cool action and I should do it too. There are a few facts regarding the benefits of preventing

children

from watching violent programs on

television

. First and foremost, they

Verb problem

are

show examples

not

Verb problem

apply

show examples

familiar with bad behaviour.

In other words

, it's easier to teach

children

just good actions, until we show them

violence

and discuss it's not good. An illustration of

this

fact is that

children

at early ages copy their parent’s words and actions. What can be concluded from the discussion revolving around the effects of

television

violence

children

is that I find myself among those who believe that

this

can bring nonnegligible side effects.

Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on Fri Feb 16 2024

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Introduction clarity and structure

Make sure the introduction clearly outlines your stance and foreshadows the main points you will discuss. While your introduction does set the stage, it could be more precise in terms of what the reader can expect from the essay.

Argument development

Try to develop your arguments more thoroughly by providing more detailed examples and evidence. While you mention the influence of war news as seen by children, digging deeper into studies, statistics, or more varied examples could strengthen your position.

Cohesive devices usage

Link your paragraphs and ideas more effectively using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., however, consequently, in addition). This helps in making the essay flow more naturally and aids in the overall coherence and cohesion of your writing.

Conclusion effectiveness

Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and reiterating your position clearly. Your conclusion is on the right track but ensure it mirrors the introduction by reaffirming your stance on the issue directly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Desensitization
Imitation
Anti-social behavior
Aggression
Empathy
Pro-social behavior
Media literacy
Fear and anxiety
Parental guidance
Temperament
Media content
Regulation
Censorship
Self-control
Critical analysis

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Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

The medical technology is responsible for increasing the average life expectancy. Do you think it is a curse or a blessing?

In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.