Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent days, there
are
more Wrong verb form
have been
museums
requiring visitors
to pay entrance fees, while
others are still free of charge. Although
this
payment has a drawback, I believe there are benefits when museums
charge for some cash to enjoy what can be viewed by visitors
.
The main disadvantage of charging some costs for visitors
to entry
Replace the word
enter
museums
is the probability for museums
to have fewer visitors
. The museums
will be less attractive due to
the obligations for the tourists as they consider the benefit they may obtain after paying some amounts. Visitors
to the national
Correct your spelling
National Museum
museum
in Jakarta, for example
, may put
high expectations Verb problem
have
on
what they can see inside the Change preposition
of
museum
since they take out cash from their wallet
. Once they find some Fix the agreement mistake
wallets
objects
which are under what they expected, they will be disappointed. Moreover
, this
disappointment will be long-lasting
Correct article usage
a long-lasting
stories
for them and their relatives whom they shareFix the agreement mistake
story
to
. Change preposition
apply
However
, there are positive sides for
charging some fees to enter the Change preposition
to
museum
which outweigh the negative side.
The primary benefits of having people pay for museum
entrances are museums
may have more income and change people’s mindset regarding appreciation of the properties and museum
itself. The fee applied for people to get into museums
is able to be used to support property maintenance and to pay for human resources working in museums
. Objects
displayed in the museums
have to be maintained properly, and it definitely requires money to keep the objects
in good condition. Moreover
, the workers who work in the museums
should be paid. They have duties in guiding visitors
and providing information about the things shown, and some of them also
work in cleaning museums
. Tourists’ spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
for
the Change preposition
on
museums
can be useful as the salary for the employees. Moreover
, people’s expenses on museums
may drive people to give more appreciation on
what they see as Change preposition
for
objects
in museums
are valuable and priceless.
In conclusion, while
the payment charged to enjoy the museum
has a drawback, I believe that the requirement for visitors
to pay for
a fee has more beneficial effects regarding financial and mindset issues.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by 2024successielts on
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task achievement
Your essay provided a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of charging entrance fees at museums. However, it can be more structured by clearly stating your stance in the introduction and summarizing it in the conclusion. This will improve the logical flow and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay had a clear introduction and conclusion, but the coherence can be improved. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence. This structure will enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples or data to support your points. While the example of the national museum in Jakarta is a good start, adding more examples or citing studies can provide stronger evidence for your claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
