Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent days, there
are
more Wrong verb form
have been
museums
requiring Use synonyms
visitors
to pay entrance fees, Use synonyms
while
others are still free of charge. Linking Words
Although
Linking Words
this
payment has a drawback, I believe there are benefits when Linking Words
museums
charge for some cash to enjoy what can be viewed by Use synonyms
visitors
.
The main disadvantage of charging some costs for Use synonyms
visitors
to Use synonyms
entry
Replace the word
enter
museums
is the probability for Use synonyms
museums
to have fewer Use synonyms
visitors
. The Use synonyms
museums
will be less attractive Use synonyms
due to
the obligations for the tourists as they consider the benefit they may obtain after paying some amounts. Linking Words
Visitors
to the Use synonyms
national
Correct your spelling
National Museum
museum
in Jakarta, Use synonyms
for example
, may Linking Words
put
high expectations Verb problem
have
on
what they can see inside the Change preposition
of
museum
since they take out cash from their Use synonyms
wallet
. Once they find some Fix the agreement mistake
wallets
objects
which are under what they expected, they will be disappointed. Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
disappointment will be Linking Words
long-lasting
Correct article usage
a long-lasting
stories
for them and their relatives whom they shareFix the agreement mistake
story
to
. Change preposition
apply
However
, there are positive sides Linking Words
for
charging some fees to enter the Change preposition
to
museum
which outweigh the negative side.
The primary benefits of having people pay for Use synonyms
museum
entrances are Use synonyms
museums
may have more income and change people’s mindset regarding appreciation of the properties and Use synonyms
museum
itself. The fee applied for people to get into Use synonyms
museums
is able to be used to support property maintenance and to pay for human resources working in Use synonyms
museums
. Use synonyms
Objects
displayed in the Use synonyms
museums
have to be maintained properly, and it definitely requires money to keep the Use synonyms
objects
in good condition. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the workers who work in the Linking Words
museums
should be paid. They have duties in guiding Use synonyms
visitors
and providing information about the things shown, and some of them Use synonyms
also
work in cleaning Linking Words
museums
. Tourists’ Use synonyms
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
for
the Change preposition
on
museums
can be useful as the salary for the employees. Use synonyms
Moreover
, people’s expenses on Linking Words
museums
may drive people to give more appreciation Use synonyms
on
what they see as Change preposition
for
objects
in Use synonyms
museums
are valuable and priceless.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
the payment charged to enjoy the Linking Words
museum
has a drawback, I believe that the requirement for Use synonyms
visitors
to pay Use synonyms
for
a fee has more beneficial effects regarding financial and mindset issues.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by 2024successielts on
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task achievement
Your essay provided a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of charging entrance fees at museums. However, it can be more structured by clearly stating your stance in the introduction and summarizing it in the conclusion. This will improve the logical flow and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay had a clear introduction and conclusion, but the coherence can be improved. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence. This structure will enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples or data to support your points. While the example of the national museum in Jakarta is a good start, adding more examples or citing studies can provide stronger evidence for your claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.