The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished.The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during

the year before and the year after it was refurbished.The charts show the

result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit,

during the same two periods.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and

make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.
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The table and pie charts below
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrate
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
number of
visitors
Use synonyms
to
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
and the result of surveys of visitor satisfaction after it was refurbished. A clear rise
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can seen after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
, the total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
to
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
was 92,000,
while
Linking Words
only 74,000
people
Use synonyms
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
before it
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
refurnished. The
percentage
Use synonyms
of
visitors
Use synonyms
who felt very satisfied after visiting it increased after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
, with the figure
rise
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
from 15% before
refurbishment
Use synonyms
to 35% after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
This
Linking Words
trend
also
Linking Words
can be seen in
people
Use synonyms
who thought Satisfied,increasing from 30% to 40%,
takes
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
up the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
among
people
Use synonyms
who
join to
Wrong verb form
joined
show examples
his survey after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
. We can see the
percentage
Use synonyms
of
visitors
Use synonyms
who felt dissatisfied accounts for the largest before
refurbishment
Use synonyms
. But
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
suddenly dropped after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
, from 40% to 50% only.
Similarity
Replace the word
Similarly
show examples
, the very dissatisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
show the same trend
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
Dissatisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
, with the
percentage
Use synonyms
fell
Wrong verb form
falling
show examples
from 10% to 5%0. which is twice times less than that before
refurbishment
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
, not only the
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
increased, but
also
Linking Words
more and more
people
Use synonyms
felt satisfied with the
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, ashdown, museum, refurbishment, people, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor numbers
  • satisfaction levels
  • very satisfied
  • satisfied
  • neither satisfied nor dissatisfied
  • dissatisfied
  • very dissatisfied
  • survey results
  • comparison
  • impact
  • effectiveness
  • visitor experience
  • overall improvement
  • increase/decrease in visitors
  • positive feedback
  • negative feedback
  • visitor survey
  • survey period
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