Please outline your plans and strategies for actively participating in local and international communities throughout the IISMA program, and provide some concrete examples.

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In general, my strategy to engage with the local and international
communities
is conducting deep research about the available
communities
in the universities and
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
in mind that as an
Indonesian
student who is studying abroad, it is mandatory for me to portray a good impression
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
Indonesian
students.
Thus
, I want to join an entrepreneurship community and meet people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have the same enthusiasm in business especially in social-health platforms.
Besides
enhancing my viewpoint of business, I can introduce the current development of Indonesia’s health technology platform.
Furthermore
, I will proudly bring my own business product which is a science-themed toy and explain it as an example of
Indonesian
student’s innovation. Henceforth, I aim to join the Startup Community Platform, part of the
University
of Edinburgh Innovations for Students. Both Monash
University
and
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
of Auckland
also
have centralized
university
hubs for students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are interested in entrepreneurship. Thankfully, their contact person for member registration is accessible through their official website so I can eventually
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
once I get accepted
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
IISMA.
Nevertheless
, for cultural exchanges, I plan to embrace the use of Bahasa Indonesia through singing because I have the ability
in playing
Change preposition
to play
show examples
musical instruments like guitar and piano. I intend to join student
communities
such
as Tandem Language Exchange at The
University
of Edinburgh, Bilingualism Matters at Monash
University
, and Let’s Talk language learning group at
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
of Auckland. In the learning process, I will divide the club’s members into a group of 4-5, and ask them to perform
Indonesian
songs in front of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
peers. I would like to appreciate the best performance by giving them batik fabric so they can know better about
Indonesian
culture.
To conclude
, I believe the most important things in engaging with the
communities
are to be friendly, compassionate and warm-hearted. With my previous experience in socializing, I am confident that I am capable of building a close relationship with both local and international
communities
.
Submitted by farrandyerza on

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Introduction Enhancement
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the key strategies you plan to employ for engaging with local and international communities. This will set a clear expectation for the reader from the start.
Conclusion Strengthening
Develop a stronger conclusion that summarizes your strategies and reinforces the importance of your involvement in these communities. A memorable conclusion will leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Coherence Enhancement
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved through the use of linking words and phrases that guide the reader through your ideas.
Cohesion Strengthening
For better cohesion, try to more explicitly connect your ideas within paragraphs. This includes enhancing the relationship between your strategy and the specific examples you provide.
Task Response Broadening
In the task response, while you provided a good variety of examples and clear plans, enhancing the detail and depth of how these activities will impact the communities can help bolster your argument. Additionally, reflecting on the potential challenges and how you plan to overcome them can provide a more comprehensive view.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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