some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea while others disagree strongly with. Consider both sides of this debates and present your own idea. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience

There is a debate among people
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some of them think it is a good thing for young people to have a
gap
year
before entering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
,
whereas
, others think
otherwise
. In
this
essay, I will examine the positive and negative sides of the statement
along with
a conclusion
at the end
. First of all, having a break
time
between high school and
university
time
has numerous advantages, and the prominent one is it encourages the youth to take
time
and reflect more regarding what kind of major they want to learn and what career they want to have in the future. It
also
gives them a chance to explore many practical things
such
as volunteering,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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, internships, or even learning new skills. The experiences they gain from those activities can help them decide what they want to do in
university
and the future.
For example
, Malia, the first daughter of Barack Obama, decided to take a
year
break before entering Harvard. She spent her
gap
year
with an internship in a company to enrich her practical skills before starting her
university
life.
On the other hand
, one primary adverse consequence of
this
tendency is taking a
gap
year
will potentially lose the study habits of the young people. Some of the reasons are that they are no longer in academic life and they are already in the real world. The practical activities they are doing during the
gap
year
time
will risk them becoming disinterested in returning to academics particularly when they already started earning their income.
For instance
, my chairmate in high school decided to take a
gap
year
and apply for a job before starting
university
. She already got a position in a company with a competitive salary and it made her not interested anymore in getting into
university
because she thinks work experience is more important than having a
university
degree. In conclusion, taking a
gap
year
after high school and before entering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
has its positive and negative sides. In
this
essay, I discussed both views of
this
tendency. After I considered everything, I am inclined to say that
overall
the virtues of
this
phenomenon surpass the drawbacks.
Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Additionally, aim to develop your ideas further by providing deeper analysis and reflection on how your examples support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on improving the flow and connectivity of your ideas. Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas more clearly. Also, consider paragraphing strategically to group similar ideas together, enhancing the overall clarity and organization of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • life experience
  • independent
  • practical skills
  • reflect
  • educational and career goals
  • academic environment
  • adjust to
  • disinterested
  • counterproductive
  • internships
  • volunteering
  • enrich
  • perspective
  • resume
  • economic considerations
  • financial constraints
  • privilege
  • personal growth
  • acquiring new skills
  • sense of direction
  • immensely beneficial
  • well-planned
  • aligned
  • future goals
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