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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Mobile
phones
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 and the
internet
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 are gaining popularity
day
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 by
day
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 as these are very crucial for communicating with each other in
this
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 contemporary
world
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.
Besides
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, these are used to do lots of activities like location checking, dictionary, information gathering, and telemedicine services etc.
Although
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 they carry numerous drawbacks like loneliness;
however
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, the benefits outweigh the downsides. First of all, mobile
phones
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 are those devices which are used for all means of communication in
this
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 modern
world
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.
Moreover
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, it would not be possible to connect the whole
world
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 within seconds without cellular
phones
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 and
internet
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 services.
For example
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, a study was conducted in Bangladesh in 2023, and they found that individuals would talk to each other 20 years ago within 2-3 years
of
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apply
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intervals, now they can share their feelings daily both in audio and video calls.
Although
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 mobile
phones
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 are making citizens more isolated from their neighbours by creating a chance of making friends abroad, on the other side, it is making relationships stronger among people than they were in the past.
In addition
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, the
internet
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 is indispensable when it comes to gathering data from various parts of the
world
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. The researcher usually publishes their articles in journals, as these magazines have online access, so anyone can download their essential papers using their mobile
phones
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 via the
internet
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.
As a result
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, it is now easy to gather information accurately which are updated. Even though sometimes we find lots of fake data, it can be assessed within short periods of time using our mobile
also
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.
For instance
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,in a recent survey conducted in Finland to compare how much time scientists usually spend on the
internet
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, the results showed,
it
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that it
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 was almost more than 75 per cent of their working time. In conclusion, after the invention of cellular
phones
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, the
world
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 is getting smaller
day
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 by
day
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 making it a global village. It provides lots of amenities using the
internet
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,
although
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 it carries some potential dangers like pornography to our young generations
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apply
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also
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. By the way, these negative sites are not as significant as positive fields.

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coherence cohesion
While your essay generally follows a logical structure, ensure that each supporting paragraph sticks more closely to one main idea for clarity. This will improve the logical sequencing of your arguments.
task achievement
In your task response, consider addressing more explicitly how the disadvantages are outweighed by the advantages in each paragraph for a clearer balance of your argument. This would strengthen the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully crafted a clear and engaging introduction and conclusion, which effectively address the question and reinforce your main argument.
task achievement
Your essay contains specific examples and evidence to support your main points, particularly in discussing how mobile phones and the internet connect people.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant communication
  • social isolation
  • face-to-face communication
  • social media platforms
  • messaging apps
  • sense of community
  • geographical boundaries
  • excessive use
  • virtual interaction
  • non-verbal cues
  • cyberbullying
  • privacy invasion
  • personal wellbeing
  • maintain relationships
  • connect with like-minded individuals
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