These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Mobile
phones
and the internet
are gaining popularity day
by day
as these are very crucial for communicating with each other in this
contemporary world
. Besides
, these are used to do lots of activities like location checking, dictionary, information gathering, and telemedicine services etc. Although
they carry numerous drawbacks like loneliness; however
, the benefits outweigh the downsides.
First of all, mobile phones
are those devices which are used for all means of communication in this
modern world
. Moreover
, it would not be possible to connect the whole world
within seconds without cellular phones
and internet
services. For example
, a study was conducted in Bangladesh in 2023, and they found that individuals would talk to each other 20 years ago within 2-3 years of
intervals, now they can share their feelings daily both in audio and video calls. Change preposition
apply
Although
mobile phones
are making citizens more isolated from their neighbours by creating a chance of making friends abroad, on the other side, it is making relationships stronger among people than they were in the past.
In addition
, the internet
is indispensable when it comes to gathering data from various parts of the world
. The researcher usually publishes their articles in journals, as these magazines have online access, so anyone can download their essential papers using their mobile phones
via the internet
. As a result
, it is now easy to gather information accurately which are updated. Even though sometimes we find lots of fake data, it can be assessed within short periods of time using our mobile also
. For instance
,in a recent survey conducted in Finland to compare how much time scientists usually spend on the internet
, the results showed, it
was almost more than 75 per cent of their working time.
In conclusion, after the invention of cellular Correct word choice
that it
phones
, the world
is getting smaller day
by day
making it a global village. It provides lots of amenities using the internet
, although
it carries some potential dangers like pornography to our young generationsRephrase
apply
also
. By the way, these negative sites are not as significant as positive fields.Submitted by zobaermasum12 on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay generally follows a logical structure, ensure that each supporting paragraph sticks more closely to one main idea for clarity. This will improve the logical sequencing of your arguments.
task achievement
In your task response, consider addressing more explicitly how the disadvantages are outweighed by the advantages in each paragraph for a clearer balance of your argument. This would strengthen the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully crafted a clear and engaging introduction and conclusion, which effectively address the question and reinforce your main argument.
task achievement
Your essay contains specific examples and evidence to support your main points, particularly in discussing how mobile phones and the internet connect people.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...