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Band 5.5

the chart below give informatin on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

the chart below give informatin on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
#informatin #ages #populations #yemen #projections
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The pie charts show
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Yemen and
Italy
Change noun form
Italy's
show examples
 population ages in 2000 and
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 projections for 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of people between 15 to 59 were
productied
Correct your spelling
predicted
 in the future to be
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
 in Yamen before that the
revers
Correct your spelling
reverse
show examples
 was true .
Yemen
Change preposition
In Yemen
show examples
 in 2000 half of the population were under 14
years
Use synonyms
 old,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
46.3% were between 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
 followed by 3.6%
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 were 60
years
Use synonyms
 and older.
however
Linking Words
, in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people from 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 expected to increase to reach 57.3% , and
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for the under 14
years
Use synonyms
 will decline to 37%. In
Italy
Add a comma
Italy,
show examples
 the vast
Correct your spelling
majority
majortiy
Correct your spelling
majority
 of people were 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
 old
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 61.6%,
while
Linking Words
 the the proportion of
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
 ones
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 24.1%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
projected
Add a missing verb
is projected
show examples
 in 2050 to rise to 42.3%
thus
Linking Words
 will make the 15 - 59
years
Use synonyms
 old become 46.2% .
Submitted by zx00154 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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