IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the area of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the problem and give solutions ?

#people #standards #times #area #literacy #numeracy
Education
 is considered to be a key
ascpect
Correct your spelling
aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 someone's life. It is generally believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the more educated the person is, the more he will get success in his life.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of people think that the standard of
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 system
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 dropped
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in recent times,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
specifically in terms of literature and
numericals
Correct your spelling
numerals
.
This
 essay will present the problems related to it and will give a possible solution. At the Onset, the major problem behind
this
 is
, Schools
Correct your spelling
that schools
 and Institutions are missing the appropriate faculties.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of students are not getting these subjects properly understood,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 they give up on
this
 area and stop continuing
further
.
However
, the major problem for
this
 is,
organizations
Correct word choice
that organizations
show examples
 are not hiring proper
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
show examples
 staff. To avoid
this
, federal officers should take a round to all institutions across the nation, and make a change by posting professional tutors to educate the kids.
Moreover
, in today's era
education
 is not considered important as compared to past time. Nowadays, the value of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system is going down because of the increase in
illetrate
Correct your spelling
illiterate
illustrate
 thoughts. In current
tie
Correct your spelling
times
show examples
, many people prefer to start a business rather than
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 proper
education
 about it.
Moreover
, they believe that
while
 operating a business they can get the finance and account.
Furthermore
, these topics are creating a sense of boredom among kids, ergo to solve
this
 issue broad explanation should be given to all youngsters. In conclusion,
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 these both subjects are important and
thus
 they can't be ignored.
Infact
Correct your spelling
In fact
,
these topic
Change the determiner
this topic
these topics
show examples
ahould
Correct your spelling
should
 be discussed more in detail. By appointing appropriate teachers in institutes,
this
 matter can be solved.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Consider structuring your essay with clearer paragraphing. Each paragraph should contain a single idea that is discussed in depth.
introduction
For a stronger introduction, clearly state the problems and solutions you will discuss. This helps guide the reader through your essay.
content
In your body paragraphs, focus on developing each point with more detailed examples and explanations. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more informative.
cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to give your essay a smoother flow. This will help in connecting your ideas more clearly and enhance cohesion.
task response
Engage more directly with the question by discussing the impact of the decline in educational standards, and by offering more concrete, varied solutions. This will improve your task response score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: