Today more and more people are using mobile phone and computer. Thus, the communication ability is losing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
are becoming popular nowadays.
While
it is believed that these electronic devices make
people
lose their
communication
skills, I disagree with
this
belief
due to
two main reasons.
To begin
with, mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
are becoming more advanced and versatile,
thus
enabling
people
to utilize them for multiple purposes, one of which is for
communication
. Many technology companies are supporting the development of applications for
communication
,
such
as social media and social messenger.
As a result
,
people
are still able to maintain their
relationship
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relationships
show examples
and
communication
ability with their relatives through mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
or
computer
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computers
show examples
. To illustrate, Instagram as one of the largest social applications in the world allows
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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users to engage with
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
through direct
message
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messages
show examples
, story
reply
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replies
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, and many more.
Furthermore
, mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
and
computer
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computers
show examples
are supporting
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
long-distance
communication
. As they can be used at any time and place,
people
are able to remotely
connected
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
with each other.
This
is highly convenient, especially for those who regularly travel or those who have many relatives across countries.
For instance
, A man lives in Jakarta, but he is working for a company in Singapore. With
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
phone
and
computer
, he can utilize them to connect with his Singaporean colleagues, without having to go in person. In conclusion, I believe that mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
do not hinder
people
's ability to communicate with each other,
instead
with the advancement of technology,
people
are able to communicate through multiple applications that are available
in
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on
show examples
the device and even
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
it remotely.
Submitted by mariakelvira on

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion. To improve, ensure that your introduction more directly addresses the question posed by the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow and incorporates an introduction and conclusion effectively. To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next by using linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents relevant examples to support its main points. For further improvement, strive for variety in sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Global connections
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Communication skills
  • Digital divide
  • Social networks
  • Virtual communication
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Cognitive empathy
  • Digital literacy
  • Social isolation
  • Cyber communication
  • Non-verbal cues
  • Screen time
  • Digital detox
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