IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, the gap between
parents
Use synonyms
 and their children has grown more than it used to be in the past. There are several advantages to the
age
Use synonyms
 gap.
However
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, there are
also
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 disadvantages to
this
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 matter as well. I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides and give an explanation of my point of view. On the one hand, having kids
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
 has its own merits. And one of the primary privileges is that it will become easier to understand each other and grow up together. Because there is no huge
age
Use synonyms
 difference.
For example
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,
Parents
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 who have kids in their early 20s are prone to understand the new generation better than older people.
Moreover
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, having a child
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
 is advantageous in the future. Because when your child
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 20 years. The
parents
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 will be at their fortty. And they will have much time to enjoy life.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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 who have children late in life have their own merits. They will become more mature and capable of raising the kids.
Further
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, they are more likely to be patient compared to younger
parents
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,
for instance
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, there has been
conducted
Correct article usage
a conducted
show examples
 study at Yale University comparing the personalities of both young and older
parents
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. And they find that older
parents
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 are more relaxed with their children than younger
parents
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.
Although
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, I believe that young
parents
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 can behave themself over time and learn how to be patient. In conclusion,
parents
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 who have a greater
age
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 difference have some benefits. But it
also
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 has drawbacks. In
this
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 subject, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develops it fully, providing clear evidence or examples where necessary.
introduction conclusion present
Revise and expand the conclusion to encapsulate all main points discussed, providing a clear summary of arguments.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples to substantiate points. Use real-world instances or statistical data when possible.
logical structure
Maintain a clearer distinction between the advantages and disadvantages within the structure, which will enhance logical flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a direct response to the topic, acknowledging both sides of the argument effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively wrap up the essay, highlighting the writer's stance.
relevant specific examples
There's an attempt to provide examples to support points, indicating understanding of the need for supporting arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • generation gap
  • intergenerational
  • fulfilling
  • complications
  • stigma
  • judgment
  • advancing age
  • life experience
  • wisdom
  • financial stability
  • opportunity
  • patience
  • maturity
  • relationships
  • communication
  • physical energy
  • social
  • learning
  • understanding
  • age difference
  • older parents
  • risk
  • challenges
  • young children
  • society
  • quality time
  • grandchildren
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