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Band 6

Why does advetisings become propular? Is this a positive or negative impact?

#advetisings #propular #impact
Nowadays, advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. The firms are using various forms of adverts to popularize the novelty of their products to the public in order to make more profit. I suppose it is a negative development which may harm the welfare of the consumers. Emphasizing the creative designs of the products can help the firms attract more purchasers. These advertisements can clearly and exaggeratedly show the advantages of these new goods to the buyers who may highly appeal to the effect shown in the advert and be willing to pay a high price to buy
this
 improved product.
For example
, some smartphone producers usually underline the speciality of their new design,
such
 as the colour of the outer shell, in order to make some customers willing to pay
a higher prices
Correct the article-noun agreement
higher prices
a higher price
show examples
 for the fascinating look.
This
 means the producers could generate higher profits through advertisements.
However
, advertising may sometimes
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 the interest of consumers.
This
 happens when the improvements on the good are inconsequential which makes the customers find that the advantages stressed by the advertising are not significant to the function of the product. In
this
 way, the consumers would lose their benefits after they had paid a higher price for the good and realized their choice
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 irrational.
As a result
, the advertising sometimes
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
 the customers to make rational decisions during shopping and lose their interest
due to
 the information gap. In conclusion, businesses usually aim to charge a higher price for their products by emphasizing the commodities sold are new in some way. But
this
 sometimes misleads the shoppers to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 irrational
purchasing
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
 and lose their benefits.
Submitted by 27475868 on

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task achievement
Ensure to address both parts of the question by discussing not only the popularity of advertising but also analyzing its positive and negative impacts more distinctly and equally.
task achievement
Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction indicating your stance and summary of key points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by examples or reasons. This is done effectively, but more distinct separations could help clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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