The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#numbers #adults #sports #area #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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the bar chart depicts

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information about the youngsters who were involved in participating in major sports activities both in 1997 and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2017 after the analysis, the

number

Use synonyms

of participants going for

gentle

Add an article

a gentle

the gentle

show examples

walk

Fix the agreement mistake

walks

show examples

had

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

influence, the

number

Use synonyms

in 1997

were

Change the verb form

was

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exactly 50 thousand

while

Linking Words

that for in 2017 the

number

Use synonyms

show upward trend after people who

are participating

Wrong verb form

participated

show examples

Add an article

the

show examples

gym saw a negligible difference between them close to almost 40 thousand in total in both of the years but for jogging

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show examples

gradual increased happened in the year of 2013 and move little upward

furthermore

Linking Words

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

basketball and cricket both showed an opposite trend

moreover

Linking Words

, for basketball the

number

Use synonyms

of participants playing it close to 20 thousand in total in the

last

Linking Words

year (2007) whilst for cricketers the same pattern

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

followed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

but

this

Linking Words

time it was the first year (1997)

however

Linking Words

, people who were participating in football and hiking did not any fluctuation and remained the same

thoughout

Correct your spelling

throughout

the period

overall

Linking Words

, it is clearly manifested that sports

include

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

gentle walking remained first in the category of sports

while

Linking Words

football and hiking remained the second spot in

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

activities

Submitted by abdulahad08600 on Sat Feb 17 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

194 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

participation rates
adult demographic
comparison
percent change
significant increase/decrease
trend analysis
sports popularity
ranking changes
general patterns
social factors
20-year period
time span
major sports
data interpretation
highlight features

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and or experience. "Truce any relevant examples from your own knowledge

The plans below show public park when it first open in 1920 and the same park today