IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime.Other, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #punishment #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account
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The debate of whether a specific penalty should be devoted to every model of
cime
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crime
 or the
circumestances
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circumstances
 in which a
culpirt
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culprit
 has
compled
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compelled
completed
compiled
 to do the
the
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apply
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guilty deed should be considered, is a contentious one. Before stating my own opinion, I will assess both perspectives. On the one hand, the existence of
penalty
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a penalty
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 has its own
drawback
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drawbacks
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 and benefits by which every potential criminal is aware of the
concequences beforhand
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consequences beforehand
 and in
ths
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this
 situation there will not be any excuse
agianst
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against
judge's
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the judge's
show examples
 verdict
for example
; neglect or unawarness.
Although
 it would be a
hinderance
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hindrance
 action in
community
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the community
show examples
, it
provide for
Verb problem
would cause
show examples
some guilty people to guess their fine and punishment which is not acceptable. All around the world, there are plenty of culprits that repeat their
crime
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crimes
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 as they know the consequences that the
goverment
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government
 has enacted
to
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on
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 them.
On the other hand
, the
propponents
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proponents
opponents
 contend that the background of doing unlawful action and every single reason ought to be taken into account because just in
this
 circumstance the
judge
 can reach a verdict fairly. Take a teenager who has stolen a loaf of bread to satiate himself as an example, if the
judge
condemn
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condemns
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 him to
harsh
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the harsh
a harsh
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 sentence
as well as
 a boss, reputing to corruption, ordinary people will probably
will
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apply
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be
disapponited
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disappointed
 regarding justice. What is more,
such
 forgiveness
maybe
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may
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resulted
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result
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 in
increasing
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an increasing
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 rate of crime.
To conclude
, though the determined punishment could be
effective
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an effective
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 approach to simplify the
judgeness
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judges
, in my view, it is not the correct form of implementing
justic
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justice
 in the community. Always the age of
criminal
Correct article usage
a criminal
show examples
 and the reason
of
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for
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 doing
crime
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a crime
show examples
 must be paid attention that
judge
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the judge
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 say that he did based on both fairness and wisdom.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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