IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
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Opinions are divided as to whether, these days the most important environmental issue is the extinction of certain species of animals and
plants
Use synonyms
, or there exist other environmental disorders which are more important. In my opinion, both of the views can be correct, in the rest of the essay I explain more about them.
It is clear that
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,
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apply
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plants
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 play a significant role in our all lives and they are necessary to the earth. Actually,
plants
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 are foods for many
of
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apply
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livestock and
also
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 for humans. So, it is impossible to ignore the importance of
plants
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. Unfortunately, nowadays, a third of all land plant species are at risk of extinction and it has caused some people to worry.
Furthermore
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, there are kinds of animals that are endangered, and it could be a result of losing their habitat, as an example I can mention wild mammals.
On the other hand
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, some individuals claim that
,
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apply
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 we should pay more attention to other environmental issues, which they think are more vital. I can mention some of these harmful events to our
plant
Correct your spelling
planet
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.
Firstly
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, I want to mention the increasing of greenhouse gases
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is one of the reasons
of
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for
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depletion
Correct article usage
the depletion
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 of the ozone layer.
Secondly
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, there is a
dramatical
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dramatic
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 rise in the amount of carbon
foot-print
Correct your spelling
footprint
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 and
finally
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 the excessive use of plastics is one of these problems. In conclusion,
while
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 in some people’s
eyes
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eyes,
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 the disappearance of some kinds of
plants
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 and animals is the worst and yet to others the other natural phenomena are even harmful, I think all the types of environmental problems need to be considered equally.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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Task Achievement
Enhance the elaboration of examples and provide more specific details to solidify and support your arguments. This will help make your main points more convincing and relevant.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly around a single main idea. Make sure that each paragraph clearly supports your overall argument, enhancing the logical flow of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Adding a summary sentence at the end of each body paragraph could help reinforce your points and improve the clarity of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to more smoothly transition between ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the overall cohesion of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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