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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
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Opinion is divided on whether college
students
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 opt for other
subjects
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 to study
besides
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 the major or exert their efforts diligently to have a degree. The writer contends that
while
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 having a high level of expertise and obtaining a qualification can lead to success, in
this
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 age of globalization, an ability to adapt results from studying various
subjects
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 is more significant. Supporters of concentrating on the main
subject
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 argue that countless hours of perseverance in the main
subject
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 can bring about better career prospects.
This
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 is because employers look for individuals who are experts in a field, which
students
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 with high expertise and profound knowledge in a major can become.
Additionally
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, directing attention to another
subject
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 can place a strain on your cognitive system, resulting in poor academic performance as these people can only bear the burden of exposing little data.
However
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, in today's competitive market, employers demand not only certificates but
also
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 adaptability for new difficulties, which can be obtained through exposure to various
subjects
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. People who advocate the exploration of other courses assert that
this
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 method contributes to a successful career.
This
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 is because the more people learn, the more opportunities to develop skills and widen their knowledge that can be integrated into their main study area.
For example
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,
students
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 with English clearly have the edge over others as they can learn from or have more profound research into foreign materials.
Furthermore
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, those who attend various
subjects
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 have more proficient problem-solving skills. These individuals can combine helpful information from other areas to have a deeper insight into the question, which undoubtedly makes the progress of thinking more effortless with more informative and multifaced answers. The equipment of
this
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 ability generates a well-rounded person capable of adapting to pursue career interests. In conclusion, despite focusing merely on one
subject
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 can provide
students
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 with the foundation to succeed, the adaptability stemming from learning numerous fields is more significant in
this
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 age of competitive job market.
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Task Achievement
To enhance task response, ensure your essay comprehensively covers all aspects of the prompt. Develop your argument further by providing more varied examples and exploring the implications of your points in greater depth.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs is maintained. Use cohesive devices effectively but ensure they do not disrupt the natural flow of the text.
Coherence & Cohesion
Boost cohesion by linking ideas more clearly and explicitly. Employ a variety of linking phrases and topic sentences to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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