Some people believe that alcohol should be considered a drug and made illegal. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, there has been an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
drinking
alcohol
Use synonyms
in their lives. Under the circumstances, some argue that
alcohol
Use synonyms
should be made illegal.
This
Linking Words
essay will support
this
Linking Words
statement, as
alcohol
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
can not only contribute to elevating a crime
rate
Use synonyms
drastically but
people
Use synonyms
are
also
Linking Words
inclined to become addicted to it.
To begin
Linking Words
, there is a strong linkage between a high crime
rate
Use synonyms
and
alcohol
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
. The rationale is, that
alcohol
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
often impairs a capacity for judgement, leading individuals to take more abrupt, reckless, and impulsive actions. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
drive a car with
alcohol
Use synonyms
, they tend to drive at a fast speed over the speed limit, as they have more confidence in their capabilities.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
unusual behaviour and immoral action amplify the
rate
Use synonyms
of many types of crimes. Another imperative point is that there are a number of adults who are addicted to
alcohol
Use synonyms
. Even though most of them started to drink
alcohol
Use synonyms
in moderation, the amount of
alcohol
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
tends to increase, making it difficult to quit it.
As a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
, their lives would be completely destroyed by
alcohol
Use synonyms
addiction, as they significantly lose motivation, emotional regulation, and logical thinking. It is not rare for those
people
Use synonyms
to rely on their family members financially
due to
Linking Words
the fact that they are no longer capable of working and being independent. In conclusion, I contend that
alcohol
Use synonyms
should be unlawful because an increase in crime
rate
Use synonyms
and
alcohol
Use synonyms
addiction are dire social problems.
Submitted by artical5er7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
You have offered a good introduction and conclusion that frames your argument effectively. To improve, ensure that the introduction succinctly outlines your main points and that your conclusion decisively reaffirms your stance.
Logical Structure
You've structured your essay logically with clear paragraphs, each focused on a distinct idea. To enhance coherence further, you might consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more effectively signal the relationship between ideas.
Supporting Main Points
Your essay demonstrates good task achievement with a clear response to the prompt. For enhancement, ensure each point is fully developed with more detailed examples or evidence. Sometimes, mentioning specific studies or statistics can enrich your argument.
Relevant, Specific Examples
You've provided relevant examples to support your points, which is excellent. However, to make your essay stand out, consider integrating more specific and varied examples, including case studies, statistical data, or notable incidents that strongly underline your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: