MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT MUSEUMS AND GALLERIES SHOULD ONLY SHOW WORK FROM LOCAL ARTISTS RATHER THAN WORK FROM OTHER COUNTRIES. DO YOU AGREE?

#people #museums #galleries #show #work #artists #countries

Art is an essential part of every

country

in the world. Some people believe that

museums

and

galleries

should only showcase the

works

of local

artists

instead

of foreign

artists

. In my opinion, I completely believe in

this

notion.

To begin

with, the heritage and culture of a

country

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

be seen through artworks.

Galleries

and

museums

are a good platform to showcase

this

. If the government will only allow the

works

of local

artists

museums

and

galleries

, they will be able to promote and show the unique culture, traditions, and identity of the nation.

Moreover

, there is a high chance for local

artists

to establish themselves within the community. Supporting their

works

would

also

give them a chance to be recognized worldwide.

Thus

, displaying their

works

galleries

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

would greatly help local

artists

In addition

to that,

this

could

also

boost

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tourism in the

country

For example

, a lot of people from overseas travel in order for them to see the incredible

works

of Picasso.

Thus

, showcasing the

works

of local

artists

could gain

such

popularity,

hence

increasing the tourism and economic growth of the

country

Lastly

, interest in art nowadays is undeniably decreasing.

To have

Change the verb form

Having

show examples

this

kind of support could motivate local

artists

and emerging talents to continue their work, which helps in preserving the culture. In conclusion, though there are drawbacks associated with supporting only local

artists

galleries

and

museums

, we have to consider that its advantages could benefit local

artists

and the

country

in the long run.

Submitted by yoko.onerom on Sun Feb 18 2024

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Language Use

To enhance your score further, try expanding the range of your lexical resource by incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures. This will make your argument more compelling and engaging.

Structure

For coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with clear, logical transitions. Consider adding or emphasizing linking phrases to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Argument

Regarding task achievement, while you've provided a clear position and supported it with relevant examples, striving for deeper analysis and including counter-arguments could enrich your essay. Addressing opposing views and refuting them strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT MUSEUMS AND GALLERIES SHOULD ONLY SHOW WORK FROM LOCAL ARTISTS RATHER THAN WORK FROM OTHER COUNTRIES. DO YOU AGREE?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You recently spent the night at an expensive hotel. There was a problem with your room, but the hotel staff was unable to do anything about it write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter. introduce yourself describe the problem say what you would like the manager to do.

All inventions and discoveries like the discovery of fire and electricity have impacts on our lives so much so that people can no longer live without them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Overweight Children In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, other say that crime is caused by a person's nature. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.