IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #schools #facilities #cities #people #teachers #doctors #work #areas #years
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A lot of
Nations
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Nation's
Nations'
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educatinal
Correct your spelling
educational
 institutions and hospitals are situated in town. Some individuals believe that
,
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apply
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 every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
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 should get
opportunity
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the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to
work
Use synonyms
 in their suitable areas, but others consider fresh
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
doctors
Use synonyms
 should participate in
village
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the village
show examples
 for some years. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I agree with
former
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a former
the former
show examples
 view because of
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
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 development. Perhaps, the most compelling reason why better education and medical facilities in undeveloped
site
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sites
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 because
of
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to
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 ensure rights among the people. If the
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
doctors
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
, underprivileged persons will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to obtain their necessary things.
For example
Linking Words
, they get their proper medicinal treatment and join for education.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they are not only educated but
also
Linking Words
well skilled
Add a hyphen
well-skilled
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 and free from
danger
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the danger
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 of diseases, which
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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 them to contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the economy
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economy
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economic
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 system.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it would be good for
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
doctors
Use synonyms
, who are fresh from university to implication their theoretical knowledge into practical.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if young
teachers
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 and
doctors
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choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 their favourable places, they can select highly suitable
area
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areas
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, the underdeveloped portion
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
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 get their desirable things.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to
work
Use synonyms
 in large
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
, they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not gather much experience, which gives them less motivation. That’s why they are not
success
Replace the word
successful
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 in their job life.
Besides
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 had bad
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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 in
this
Linking Words
 sector and particularly
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
 benefit from them. In conclusion, working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
obviously
Add a missing verb
is obviously
show examples
 a good
things
Correct the article-noun agreement
thing
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, but the government should ensure their financial, accommodation and mental satisfaction so that every
employees
Change to a singular noun
employee
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go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 to
this
Linking Words
 place and
Use synonyms
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 with full energy.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

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logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint, develop your ideas in body paragraphs with examples, and conclude your essay by summarizing your views and restating your opinion.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion. These should clearly state the topic, present your viewpoint, and summarize your argument.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
complete response
Respond to all parts of the task. Make sure you discuss both views presented in the prompt and give your own opinion. Provide clear and comprehensive ideas to fully cover the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by organizing them logically and expanding on them with sufficient detail. Avoid broad statements by providing specific examples and explanations.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This helps in demonstrating your understanding of the topic and makes your essay more persuasive.
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