Some people think that it is better to other countries for greater work and life opportunities. Others argue that it is best to stay in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Careers play an essential role in our life. A
number
of folks, including me, prefer to go to other parts of the world for perfect occupations and a host of life opportunities.
However
, a figure of people believe that it is best to stay in their
country
. In
this
essay, I will explain both these views and give my opinion. On the one hand, a large total of people especially youngsters prefer to go to another
country
to have better jobs and life with a high quality.
Consequently
, they emigrate from their home and ought to leave their families.
on the contrary
, If you can go to developed countries, you will have a good job with a high income.
As a result
, when you have a perfect salary you can fulfil your needs and buy some goods or tools with a high quality.
For instance
, you refused to see a bad car or vehicle.
In addition
, If you were in a developed homey, you would have good public transportation
such
as buses and subways.
As a result
, you can save your time and conduct something.
Moreover
, when you relocate to a
number
of countries, you have some freedoms.
For example
, freedom of speech or any religion. Ergo, nobody
such
as cups or people they have no right to catch you or make fun of you.
On the other hand
, a
number
of individuals, believe that when you immigrate to another part of the world, you refuse to have any bond with your family or friends.
consequently
, It is possible that you will get a
number
of mental illnesses.
Furthermore
, you ought to live alone and try extremely hard.
For instance
, In the first few years of immigration, you ought to work in a restaurant as a Garcon.
However
, I believe that these problems are not extremely significant if you have goals. You ought to accept a
number
of these problems. In my opinion, the process of immigration is extremely difficult and it depends on your personality and goals. In conclusion, In my opinion,
first,
if you live in a developed
country
, It is not necessary to go to other parts of the world
due to
the fact that your
country
has a host of opportunities.
However
, If you do not like your
country
suffering from your government, you should leave your
country
.
Consequently
, you can study at the best universities or schools.
Moreover
, you can work in well-known companies with a high salary.
Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Open each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Transition phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition' and 'On the other hand' can help with this, but ensure they are not overused and are appropriately placed.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios can make your points more convincing and enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
For a more complete response, ensure that you address the prompt fully. This means discussing both views and providing a balanced discussion before giving your own opinion.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay and not just at the conclusion. This helps in presenting a coherent argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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