The only way to improve road safety is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree.”

In the up-to-date globe, safety on the street has been the hot trend topic to be debated. The news and the encounters during the day have introduced too many driving offences
such
as speeding, drunk driving, or individuals not following the traffic laws which have caused many severe results. It supposes that strident fines had to be given to the people who execute these offences,
however
, it is the only way to improve the sanctuary level on the trail. I completely agree with another as legitimate instruction and coaching might
also
help to upturn the security of the roadway. Originally, the chauffeur who like drunk driving, speeding and not following the transport regulations should be strictly punished so some of the methods have been come up with to be the key for the drivers to go smoothly on roads. As you know, unless the fines or the penalties weren’t established, the drivers would follow the regulations on roads for assumed.
For instance
, they imposed some fines for those who travel by private cars but do not follow the rules in Canada there are some false points if somebody performs an action for a severe driving offence. For that reason, all of the penalties help the government to restrain the traffic and the protection on the roads. In other words, society’s learning process should be able to instruct and train properly. Driving skills should be known worldwide for the road cover.
Therefore
, some of the courses need to be introduced more popular to the drivers and explain to them how is the importance of safe driving and obeying them to follow the traffic rules.
For example
, the residents who have used their private cars to move in some agrarians are forced to go to extra classes for driving safely in remarkably high-traffic fields
although
they have a driver’s license and passed the driving exam. In
this
manner, shelter driving can
also
be helped by the instruction concerning regulations and rules and decent guidance. In conclusion, from my view, despite the action of the police who strictly punish the driving offenders is extremely necessary for the immunity of the way, appropriate coaching and instruction might
also
be a significant part of us to accomplish
this
.
Submitted by  11E4 Community on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay introduction could be sharper. Present a clear thesis statement that reflects your position directly related to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for clarity.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to support your main points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Consider both sides of the argument for a more balanced perspective. While you mention the necessity of stricter punishments and the role of education, exploring how they interact or comparing their effectiveness could enrich your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: