IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As an international student in Sweden, you have an account with a local bank. The monthly bank transfer you receive from your parents has been delayed this month due to an error at your parents’ bank. Write a letter to your bank. In your letter: •introduce yourself and ask for a loan •say why you need the money •tell how you intend to pay back the money You should 

You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#student #sweden #account #bank #transfer #parents #month #error #parents’ #•introduce #loan #•say #money #•tell #addresses #sir #madam
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Dear Sir/Madam, I trust you are doing well. The purpose of
this
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 letter is to apply for a short-term loan from your bank. Myself Ruchin Patel, an international student in Sweden.
Besides
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this
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, I am
also
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 a bank account holder in your financial institution for the
last
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 three years.
Due to
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 some unforeseen circumstances, I would like to request
for
Change preposition
apply
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a short-term loan of $1200.00 for
a
Correct article usage
one
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one-month
Correct your spelling
month
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.
This
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 fund will help me to pay my fixed monthly expenses
such
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 as rent, groceries, mobile
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
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, and transportation.
Additionally
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, it will be
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also
Rephrase
apply
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a great
stress-relief
Correct your spelling
stress relief
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 for me as I
also
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 need to pay for my tuition in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 three months.
Moreover
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,
as
Correct word choice
apply
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all my monthly expenses are paid every month by my parents. As soon as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I will receive the money in the following month, I will pay the full amount of
loan
Correct article usage
the loan
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 together. I hope to hear a positive response
on
Change preposition
to
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this
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 request soon. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
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 faithfully, Ruchin Patel
Submitted by ruchin27 on

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task achievement
Ensure to clarify the amount clearly as $1,200.00 not just $1200.00 to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammar errors like 'As soon as,' should be 'As soon as'.
task achievement
The letter maintains a suitable writing tone that is polite and formal throughout.
coherence cohesion
Good logical structure by introducing yourself, explaining your need, and how you'll repay.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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