advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. The firms are using various forms of adverts to popularize the novelty of their products to the public in order to make additional profit.

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Nowadays, advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. The firms are using various forms of adverts to popularize the novelty of their products to the public in order to make additional profit. I suppose it is a negative development which may harm the welfare of the consumers. Emphasizing the creative designs of the products can help the firms attract additional purchasers. These advertisements can obviously and exaggeratedly show the advantages of these original goods to the buyers who may greatly appeal to the effect shown in the advert and be willing to pay a high price to buy
this
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improved product.
For example
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, some smartphone producers normally underline the speciality of their latest design,
such
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as the colour of the outer shell, in order to make some customers willing to pay higher prices for the fascinating look.
This
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means the producers could generate higher profits through advertisements.
However
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, advertising may occasionally affect the interest of consumers.
This
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happens when the improvements on the benefit are inconsequential, which makes the customers find that the advantages stressed by the advertising are not significant to the function of the product. In
this
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way, the consumers would lose their benefits after they had paid a higher price for the good and realized their choice
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
irrational.
As a result
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, advertising frequently affects the customers to make rational decisions during shopping and lose their interest
due to
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the information gap. In conclusion, businesses generally aim to charge a higher price for their products by emphasizing the commodities sold are unusual in some way. But
this
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occasionally misleads the shoppers to make irrational purchases and lose their benefits.
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Task Achievement
Make sure the introduction clearly states your position on the topic. While your introduction mentions 'novelty' and 'additional profit,' it could be more explicit in stating whether you view advertising's popularity as positive or negative.
Task Achievement
Further develop your paragraphs with more specific examples. While you provide an example of smartphone advertising, adding varied instances from other industries could strengthen your argument and make your ideas more comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more engaging and easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases effectively to improve the flow of your essay. While you have some transitional phrases, more could be used to connect ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.

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