Some children spend hours every day on the smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is often seen that certain
parents
give access to
smartphones
to their
children
. Personally, I feel the main reasons for
this
are an increase in
parents
' work
hours
which don't have
time
to watch their kids and interesting content
that is
available on kids' phones. I
therefore
feel
this
is a negative
development
, particularly for their growth. I will explain my reasons in
this
essay. First and foremost, it is commonly seen that
children
who spend
hours
every day on their
smartphones
are the younger ones and still need companionship from their
parents
. Working
parents
often leave their younger
children
with their older
children
who are not in the role of watching their siblings because they have no
time
to keep an eye on their younger kids.
Thus
,
for instance
, whenever the younger ones are in tantrums, the older ones often give the smartphone to their sibling so that they can be quiet. In fact, one of the reasons that
children
can be in tantrum mode and ask to give the smartphone to them is there are many contents that seem more interesting to them than playing with their friends.
Thus
,
this
case often happens because of the increasing working
hours
of the
parents
and the lack of supervision of their
children
.
Secondly
, in my opinion,
this
has a negative impact, especially on the
children
's motor and brain
development
.
Children
who are still under companion are those who are still in growth age so every single aspect of their life can affect their
development
.
For example
,
children
who spend
hours
every day on their
smartphones
tend to have lower attention and movement than those who choose to play with their friends
instead
.
This
can affect their brain and skeleton
development
.
Consequently
, their growth is slower than other
children
and may affect their health when they grow older.
Thus
, spending most of the
time
playing on
smartphones
is bad for
children
. In conclusion, I feel that there are clear disadvantages to allowing
children
to spend their
time
on their
smartphones
every day. The main drawback is
children
's health may decrease as they are older because their body
development
is affected by playing
smartphones
most of the
time
. The question reminds us that
parents
must supervise their
children
's actions despite their working
hours
.
Submitted by amaliasekar30 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay. Although your stance is mentioned, reinforcing it in every paragraph could enhance clarity.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. Personal anecdotes or hypothetical scenarios can make your points more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, more sophisticated linking words could improve the flow and cohesion between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Consider a short summary of your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument and provide a stronger closure.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: